A conversation with myself

Setting: At the grocery store, current day.
Self: Stay on the perimeter, stick to the list...
Self 2: Douchebag, you forgot the list, you always forget the list. you act like you are so organized and create a list and you always forget it...damn the list.
Self: Damn the list..okay, fill the cart with green shit, walden farms stuff and lean protein.
Self 2: Hey corn dogs are on sale, Jaci has been begging for corn dogs...
Self: fine, grab the corn dogs...focus on the produce on the other side of the aisle.
Self 2: Didn't you throw away an entire box of these $6 greens last week? Un-opened and un-touched?
Self: Shut up, this is a new week, the $6 greens will be opened and consumed...hey look at that, new WF dressings...
Self 2: Yeah, to dip the pizza rolls in, right?
Self: Shut it...lets move on....hey, biscuits are on sale and I have a coupon for those.
Self 2: You're not supposed to eat biscuits fat ass, remember???
Self: I can make the kids biscuits and gravy and I will have my own breakfast, we've been eating separate meals for months, its no big deal.
Self 2: Hey! Food pride (fine, Audubon Foods, truth be told, I still call it Super, it will always be Super) has roasted garlic hummus and pita chips. We love hummus.
Self: Avoid the hummus.
Self 2: Hummus is not that bad...its' SUPER Bad, in the good kind of way...BUY THE HUMMUS!
Self: Fine, I will buy the hummus, only because I bought 5 yellow and orange peppers and desperately need to use them up. Hummus, you're coming with us.
Self 2: fuck that, the pita chips are right over there...
Self: No!
Self 2: You are so weak..the pita chips are already in the cart hiding under your frozen vegetables. And by the way, since we bought the hummus and pita chips, don't madly dash past the booze aisle. It's one of those cheap bottle of wine nights...
Self! Absolutely not!!
Self 2: God you're pathetic, but kudos on just buying one bottle when they had a 2-fer sale!


Every morning I start out on plan, rearing to go..then my self 2 kicks in and well, you can see how that conversation goes. Couch 2 5K repeat of week 2 has gone well. Still no zumba crashing, but it WILL happen. I keep trudging along, not happy with myself, but not disgusted enough to kick self 2 to the curb....I will get there. I will shut Self 2 down. I will, not to start quoting lines from Pink, but, "change the voices in my head."