what a gain can do to a person. I'm not talking a pound or two...while a pound or two can be frustrating, a bigger gain can change your perspective, completely. With my totally earned, 100% my fault and totally asked for 8 pound gain, my perspective is changing. I'm finding it massively hard to stay on plan, but since this is technically my "third day" again, it's understandable. I am also finding it hard to get dressed in the morning. While nothing has gotten too tight to wear and I haven't "outgrown" anything. I am having a hard time doing my hair, putting on make up and wearing anything remotely cute. I want to wear my fleece pullover and yoga pants all day every day. (It could be because its colder than a well diggers ass in January and my fleece and yoga pants are warm and cozy, it could also be because of hits lovely little sinus cold I have, that I want to stay in my jammies.) But really, I think the bloated, oogey, nasty ass feeling I have of gaining weight is what's making me want to revert to old habits. Old habits being, hair in pony tail, not cute clothes and "eh, nobody is going to see me today, so why bother with anymore makeup than foundation and chapstick."
While I did revert to a ponytail today, I did put on full makeup and I am wearing a fleece pull over, but its the fitted kind, and I did force myself to put on a pair of jeans. I drew the line with my sparkly belt and my boots, I skipped the belt and put on my comfy fur lined mules...I just didn't feel the bling this morning. I am hoping that once the day 3 blahs subside that I will find my "cuteness" again. I am hoping I will find my urge to workout again. I know I shouldn't let a little cold get in my way and that many people will say exercise will make you feel better, but, when it feels like you have a Russian prison guard named Helga, complete with her hairy mole and steel toed boots sitting on your chest and you can only partially breathe thru one nostril, if you turn your head just right and if you've blown your nose in the last six seconds, hopping on your elliptical is the last thing one would feel like doing.
I will find my cuteness tomorrow, I hope...I have plans to go out with my"inner circle" and I fully intend to look cute, at least those are my intentions as of this hour...I also intend to at least walk on the treadmill or hop on the recumbent bike tonight while Miss Jaci is at dance. We shall see if I have the follow thru to accomplish it....wish me luck stalker friends.... :)
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
From this day forward
when i am having a bad day I will look at the beach picture posted here and stare at my shoulder. You may think I sound like a real doucherocket here, but seriously, I am in love with how my shoulder looks in that picture. It's toned, I can see collarbones...I am tan, I look tiny nestled into Dan's shoulder.. (well there are very few people in this world who don't look tiny compared to Dan, hence the Big D thing) anywho..this will be my new inspiration picture. When I am feeling low, I will stare at my shoulder.
I have been staring at it a lot the last couple of days with my 8 pound vacation gain and this huge bloated cow like feeling I'm having. I asked for it though with my massively off plan eating and drinking. I used the excuse that I was on vacation, it was all inclusive (meaning 95% buffet) and yes there were healthier choices, but I for one have a very hard time grabbing an oatmeal or yogurt when there is a waffle/french toast/omelette station staring you in the face. I did skip the french toast and waffles and did a loaded with veggie omelette, but I had toast with it...I also have a hard time going for the salad when there is an unbelievable made to order pasta chef standing three feet from me. It makes me feel a little nervous for transition and maintenance. I know which options to chose, but will I actually be able to chose them when push comes to shove? Will I be able to maintain my at least 3 day a week work out schedule? (With the massive amounts of crud migrating from my nose down the back of my throat and my enormous swollen glands, there is no exercising at all right now, but the week is young) Will I be able to say no thanks to the pasta and order the salad? Most likely I will order the pasta with a to go box, box up half of it and have the salad too. But as long as I do THAT and not eat the entire 3 pound serving of pasta, I'll be okay. I am again about 20 pounds from my goal...these last 20 pounds may be a bitch...but we will continue on and kick them to the curb, no matter how long it takes or how many ups and downs I have....
I have been staring at it a lot the last couple of days with my 8 pound vacation gain and this huge bloated cow like feeling I'm having. I asked for it though with my massively off plan eating and drinking. I used the excuse that I was on vacation, it was all inclusive (meaning 95% buffet) and yes there were healthier choices, but I for one have a very hard time grabbing an oatmeal or yogurt when there is a waffle/french toast/omelette station staring you in the face. I did skip the french toast and waffles and did a loaded with veggie omelette, but I had toast with it...I also have a hard time going for the salad when there is an unbelievable made to order pasta chef standing three feet from me. It makes me feel a little nervous for transition and maintenance. I know which options to chose, but will I actually be able to chose them when push comes to shove? Will I be able to maintain my at least 3 day a week work out schedule? (With the massive amounts of crud migrating from my nose down the back of my throat and my enormous swollen glands, there is no exercising at all right now, but the week is young) Will I be able to say no thanks to the pasta and order the salad? Most likely I will order the pasta with a to go box, box up half of it and have the salad too. But as long as I do THAT and not eat the entire 3 pound serving of pasta, I'll be okay. I am again about 20 pounds from my goal...these last 20 pounds may be a bitch...but we will continue on and kick them to the curb, no matter how long it takes or how many ups and downs I have....
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
What a week
Wow...what a difference a week makes! Yes, I had work out clothes and I-pod packed, yes I visualized myself on the sand...HOWEVER, my heart just was not in it. I just could not handle being cooped up in the fitness room working out, when I could be in the pool lounging at the swim up bar. I could not imagine running on the beach when, the resort we were staying at technically didn't have a beach and when we visited the sister resort that DID have a beach, the drinks were flowing freely and the only thing I was running to was the bathroom. We did however walk ALOT and we did go snorkeling, so it wasn't just lay on my ass in the sun ALL the time. Just part of the time.
I had intentions, but when you have a pina colada in each hand and a cabana boy bringing you fresh drinks every 20 minutes or so...all intentions go out the window....all of the good ones anyway.
I had an AMAZING time on my vacation. I apologize for not blogging. The resort did have 30 minutes free internet daily for all, they only had a couple of computers you could access and it took me most of the trip scouring the 85 acres to figure out where they had hid them!
Back in Iowa, back to reality, back to the weather that's a real son of a bitch and back to my lifestyle change. (BTW I GAINED 8 pounds...yes, 8 pounds...considering I drank my weight in rum and then some, its not so bad.) I had some wonderful salmon, sea bass and tuna..I also had amazing pizza and pasta..yes, I said pizza and pasta.....when you drink from sun up to sun down, a salad doesn't quite soak up the booze like pizza does. Sorry...they also had the most amazing bread....phenomenal. It had been so long since I had eaten bread, it was like heaven.
We're now back to reality....I'm reliving day one all over again. Due to the 90 degree temperature swing my body experienced from Riviera Maya to Iowa, I did bring a cold and sore throat home with me, so, perhaps the "first three day" miserable feeling will be disguised by the cold. Look soon for a new beach picture of me and Dan, I have to admit I can see the difference in this one... I think my shoulders look amazing...Later stalker friends! I've missed you!
I had intentions, but when you have a pina colada in each hand and a cabana boy bringing you fresh drinks every 20 minutes or so...all intentions go out the window....all of the good ones anyway.
I had an AMAZING time on my vacation. I apologize for not blogging. The resort did have 30 minutes free internet daily for all, they only had a couple of computers you could access and it took me most of the trip scouring the 85 acres to figure out where they had hid them!
Back in Iowa, back to reality, back to the weather that's a real son of a bitch and back to my lifestyle change. (BTW I GAINED 8 pounds...yes, 8 pounds...considering I drank my weight in rum and then some, its not so bad.) I had some wonderful salmon, sea bass and tuna..I also had amazing pizza and pasta..yes, I said pizza and pasta.....when you drink from sun up to sun down, a salad doesn't quite soak up the booze like pizza does. Sorry...they also had the most amazing bread....phenomenal. It had been so long since I had eaten bread, it was like heaven.
We're now back to reality....I'm reliving day one all over again. Due to the 90 degree temperature swing my body experienced from Riviera Maya to Iowa, I did bring a cold and sore throat home with me, so, perhaps the "first three day" miserable feeling will be disguised by the cold. Look soon for a new beach picture of me and Dan, I have to admit I can see the difference in this one... I think my shoulders look amazing...Later stalker friends! I've missed you!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
My tightass
no pun intended here, but I think my inner tightass/cheapskate is trying to sabotage my efforts, either that, or I'm just a frickin idiot, take your pick. I think part of my head is saying....lose those last 10-15 pounds, I am comfortably in size 12's. Size 10's were my original goal...that is another 10-15 pounds away..piece of cake after losing 56, right? WRONG....Now that I can shop again and feel good about it, the other half of my head is saying, "while the shopping is fun, you just spent $150 on a pair of jeans...don't you DARE get too skinny to wear them!" There was a time in my life that would have paid my rent...but damn, they are cute and they fit good...and I love the little "31" stamped on the waistband.
Friday, I did good, food wise, had a few drinks at my girls night out..vodka with diet cranberry sierra mist, so no carbs and low cals, so that was a plus. Saturday I was UBER busy. I had to take pictures at 84,000 different Christmas events in town and then be the greeter at the Chamber luncheon. So, as simple and as portable as this plan is, one would think, "No problem." WRONG!!!! This asshat left the house without a single bar, pretzel or packet of hot chocolate. NOTHING. So, all I ate all day Saturday was....a chili dog with no bun and 4 Christmas cookies....stellar on plan day there, huh? Sunday I recuperated and other than the bottle and a half of wine that I had at my nephew's birthday party, I ingested nothing that wasn't on plan... (yes, I said wine at a 2 year old's birthday party...that's just how we roll.)
I don't know...sounds like I'm making excuses, doesn't it? And maybe I am, maybe I'm just not as committed to those last 15 pounds as I was to the first 56...maybe I'm tired...maybe I've lost my mojo. I think my mind right now is saying, "Good enough, is good enough." And yeah, sometimes it is, but all of my years of thinking "good enough" got me to be the big fat mess I was. So, as long as my "good enough" includes good enough choices when it comes to eating and a continuation of my exercising efforts, maybe, just maybe, I'll be okay and I'll get that last 10-15 pounds off.
Mexico comes my way tomorrow. we depart on our adventure tonight...workout clothes and I-pod packed...I can visualize myself running in the sand...the intent is there, we shall see if I follow through.
Weigh in today was a maintain. No gain, no loss...
Friday, I did good, food wise, had a few drinks at my girls night out..vodka with diet cranberry sierra mist, so no carbs and low cals, so that was a plus. Saturday I was UBER busy. I had to take pictures at 84,000 different Christmas events in town and then be the greeter at the Chamber luncheon. So, as simple and as portable as this plan is, one would think, "No problem." WRONG!!!! This asshat left the house without a single bar, pretzel or packet of hot chocolate. NOTHING. So, all I ate all day Saturday was....a chili dog with no bun and 4 Christmas cookies....stellar on plan day there, huh? Sunday I recuperated and other than the bottle and a half of wine that I had at my nephew's birthday party, I ingested nothing that wasn't on plan... (yes, I said wine at a 2 year old's birthday party...that's just how we roll.)
I don't know...sounds like I'm making excuses, doesn't it? And maybe I am, maybe I'm just not as committed to those last 15 pounds as I was to the first 56...maybe I'm tired...maybe I've lost my mojo. I think my mind right now is saying, "Good enough, is good enough." And yeah, sometimes it is, but all of my years of thinking "good enough" got me to be the big fat mess I was. So, as long as my "good enough" includes good enough choices when it comes to eating and a continuation of my exercising efforts, maybe, just maybe, I'll be okay and I'll get that last 10-15 pounds off.
Mexico comes my way tomorrow. we depart on our adventure tonight...workout clothes and I-pod packed...I can visualize myself running in the sand...the intent is there, we shall see if I follow through.
Weigh in today was a maintain. No gain, no loss...
Friday, December 3, 2010
Reason vs. Excuse
I've been thinking a lot about these two words. Reason and excuse...I can give reasons for wanting to achieve a lifestyle change (ain't ya proud Coach K's...I didn't use the D-word) I can give reasons for NOT doing something, but aren't those excuses not reasons?
The definition of reason is: The cause that makes a phenomenon intelligible.
The definition of excuse is: To free from blame, to forgive or overlook, to release from obligation, undertaking or duty.
So, here's my way of looking at it...a REASON is intelligible, it's real. The reason my dad cannot lift more than 20 pounds is because he is a cardiac rehab patient (soon to be released, btw.)
An excuse is more of a feeling or an emotion. I didn't exercise this morning because I felt like sleeping in. It's not that I COULDN'T do it, I didn't FEEL like it. Reason is an actuality, excuse is an emotion.
This kind of relates to the blame game in my mind and this doesn't just apply to lifestyle change. There are so many things in life that we make excuses for because we don't like the "feeling" of it, but we never really get to the "reason" behind it, nor do we take ownership of that reason. It's simply much easier to make an excuse and blame someone else.
Yeah, life sucks sometimes. Things don't always go our way, you don't always have success. It's not always someone else's fault. Sure, sometimes there is blame to lay at the feet of someone else. (Kirk Ferentz, this means you for calling that lame brain time out with less than 10 seconds left and calling a 2 yard pass play when you needed 10 yards.) But, at the same time, the situation is not wholly laid at Mr. Ferentz's feet. Passes were missed, catches were dropped, blocks were shucked and tackles were missed, all of which led up to the close game and eventual loss. At some point everyone has to "man up" or "put on your big girl panties" and know that if something went wrong and you were involved in it, in some way, you had ownership of it...someway, somehow, you could have changed the outcome. Sometimes, it's just not your day, and that's okay, too. (I apologize for the sports analogy, my husband has started to wear off on me.)
You failed a test (surely it was because the teacher didn't give you the right things to study.) You lost the game/match/race (it had to be the coach's fault (was the coach the one throwing the ball/running the race/down on the mat?)) you missed a deadline at work (certainly its because your boss is an asshat.)
You didn't lose weight this week. You lost the conversation with the cheesecake. You didn't work out. These EXCUSES are not someone else's fault. Give me the REASON for any of these actions, maybe I'll buy it. Chances are I won't because too often someone tries to mask an excuse by calling it a reason and that's just not going to fly with me anymore. (Self, this means you.)
I lost the conversation with the cheesecake last night. I ate a piece at 1:30 a.m. My EXCUSE, yes EXCUSE not reason? Dan had gone to Cliff's for Thursday night football, if I fall asleep and wake up and he is not home, I can't get back to sleep. I start worrying, I start stewing, I start brooding and then I feel like nothing will calm my nerves but food. So really, the cheesecake was Dan's fault...WRONG! Dan is a big boy who can take care of himself. Cheesecake was not going to make him magically appear at the door and all it did was give me 30 seconds of "wow this is good" followed by a massive gut ache (which I still have) and a guilt trip a mile long.
I did not get up and work out this morning, partly because said husband was not home, therefore I was awake for 3 hours in the middle of the night (again, his fault right? Bullshit, I can take a Tylenol PM just like the rest of the world) The other reason was that my work out from yesterday ended at 9 p.m. last night and frankly, I'm too fucking old to have a two-a-day work out. Excuse? Possibly, but I don't want to injure myself and PLAN to work out while my turkey meat balls are in the oven later today. (hee hee I just said balls...)
Sorry, this got a little long and rambling, but...the next time you think you are giving yourself a "reason" for not staying on plan, not eating your 5 and 1 not measuring your lean and greens not drinking your water, ask yourself if it's truly a reason or merely an excuse...I bet I know the answer already.
Recipe:
Stuffed tomatoes
Tis the season for holiday parties I am making these tasty little morsels to take to a cocktail party tonight.
Cherry tomatoes, or right now Food Pride as these little tomatoes called Romanitas, (I think) they are a little bigger than a cherry tomato 99 cents for a bag of like 12.
chicken, crab, tuna or salmon, your choice if its canned drain it and rinse it with water, if its flake, make sure there are no skin or bones
In a bowl, use a fork to "mash" up your meat of choice, you want a relatively fine piece. Mix in a T or two of light mayonnaise, basically just enough to moisten the meat. I then add a little Walden Farms Ranch to make it creamier without adding extra fat and calories You may also use FF sour cream. You want a tuna salad consistency. At this point, you can add finely diced green onion or celery or finely chopped spinach. To all I add some garlic, black pepper, and onion powder, I also add 2 packets of splenda. (My mom has always sweetened her egg, chicken, tuna salad and now I can't eat it any other way) To the salmon I add some dill weed. Take the tomatoes (washed) cut down the center about 3/4 of the way, stuff a spoonful of your salad in the center, place on your serving tray. If you have extra, you can use this to stuff celery or you can spread it on a slice of cucumber.
The definition of reason is: The cause that makes a phenomenon intelligible.
The definition of excuse is: To free from blame, to forgive or overlook, to release from obligation, undertaking or duty.
So, here's my way of looking at it...a REASON is intelligible, it's real. The reason my dad cannot lift more than 20 pounds is because he is a cardiac rehab patient (soon to be released, btw.)
An excuse is more of a feeling or an emotion. I didn't exercise this morning because I felt like sleeping in. It's not that I COULDN'T do it, I didn't FEEL like it. Reason is an actuality, excuse is an emotion.
This kind of relates to the blame game in my mind and this doesn't just apply to lifestyle change. There are so many things in life that we make excuses for because we don't like the "feeling" of it, but we never really get to the "reason" behind it, nor do we take ownership of that reason. It's simply much easier to make an excuse and blame someone else.
Yeah, life sucks sometimes. Things don't always go our way, you don't always have success. It's not always someone else's fault. Sure, sometimes there is blame to lay at the feet of someone else. (Kirk Ferentz, this means you for calling that lame brain time out with less than 10 seconds left and calling a 2 yard pass play when you needed 10 yards.) But, at the same time, the situation is not wholly laid at Mr. Ferentz's feet. Passes were missed, catches were dropped, blocks were shucked and tackles were missed, all of which led up to the close game and eventual loss. At some point everyone has to "man up" or "put on your big girl panties" and know that if something went wrong and you were involved in it, in some way, you had ownership of it...someway, somehow, you could have changed the outcome. Sometimes, it's just not your day, and that's okay, too. (I apologize for the sports analogy, my husband has started to wear off on me.)
You failed a test (surely it was because the teacher didn't give you the right things to study.) You lost the game/match/race (it had to be the coach's fault (was the coach the one throwing the ball/running the race/down on the mat?)) you missed a deadline at work (certainly its because your boss is an asshat.)
You didn't lose weight this week. You lost the conversation with the cheesecake. You didn't work out. These EXCUSES are not someone else's fault. Give me the REASON for any of these actions, maybe I'll buy it. Chances are I won't because too often someone tries to mask an excuse by calling it a reason and that's just not going to fly with me anymore. (Self, this means you.)
I lost the conversation with the cheesecake last night. I ate a piece at 1:30 a.m. My EXCUSE, yes EXCUSE not reason? Dan had gone to Cliff's for Thursday night football, if I fall asleep and wake up and he is not home, I can't get back to sleep. I start worrying, I start stewing, I start brooding and then I feel like nothing will calm my nerves but food. So really, the cheesecake was Dan's fault...WRONG! Dan is a big boy who can take care of himself. Cheesecake was not going to make him magically appear at the door and all it did was give me 30 seconds of "wow this is good" followed by a massive gut ache (which I still have) and a guilt trip a mile long.
I did not get up and work out this morning, partly because said husband was not home, therefore I was awake for 3 hours in the middle of the night (again, his fault right? Bullshit, I can take a Tylenol PM just like the rest of the world) The other reason was that my work out from yesterday ended at 9 p.m. last night and frankly, I'm too fucking old to have a two-a-day work out. Excuse? Possibly, but I don't want to injure myself and PLAN to work out while my turkey meat balls are in the oven later today. (hee hee I just said balls...)
Sorry, this got a little long and rambling, but...the next time you think you are giving yourself a "reason" for not staying on plan, not eating your 5 and 1 not measuring your lean and greens not drinking your water, ask yourself if it's truly a reason or merely an excuse...I bet I know the answer already.
Recipe:
Stuffed tomatoes
Tis the season for holiday parties I am making these tasty little morsels to take to a cocktail party tonight.
Cherry tomatoes, or right now Food Pride as these little tomatoes called Romanitas, (I think) they are a little bigger than a cherry tomato 99 cents for a bag of like 12.
chicken, crab, tuna or salmon, your choice if its canned drain it and rinse it with water, if its flake, make sure there are no skin or bones
In a bowl, use a fork to "mash" up your meat of choice, you want a relatively fine piece. Mix in a T or two of light mayonnaise, basically just enough to moisten the meat. I then add a little Walden Farms Ranch to make it creamier without adding extra fat and calories You may also use FF sour cream. You want a tuna salad consistency. At this point, you can add finely diced green onion or celery or finely chopped spinach. To all I add some garlic, black pepper, and onion powder, I also add 2 packets of splenda. (My mom has always sweetened her egg, chicken, tuna salad and now I can't eat it any other way) To the salmon I add some dill weed. Take the tomatoes (washed) cut down the center about 3/4 of the way, stuff a spoonful of your salad in the center, place on your serving tray. If you have extra, you can use this to stuff celery or you can spread it on a slice of cucumber.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Hmmmm
So, I did NOT get up and do the pre 6 a.m. work out today, Dan volunteered to take Drew to weight lifting so in bed I stayed, BUT not all is lost, as I have made a date with my elliptical this evening. (Gee I hope it puts out).
Last night, I totally felt like I was cheating. I made a plain pancake muffin, cut it in half put a little peanut butter and some Walden Farms Strawberry fruit spread on it....amazing. It was SOOOOO good. You must try it soon. I got the spread at Hy-Vee in Carroll, its even on sale right now.
Today, I have felt the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat in the span of 2 hours. I put on a pair of aeropastle jeans I bought, without trying on, a month ago, I could not get them over my calves. Today, I am wearing them, plenty of room in the calf and I had to put a belt on too, and for its actual purpose, not just so it looked cute. Evidently the calves are getting smaller. Two short hours later I had my physical for my life insurance and let me just tell you, I hate, no despise, no LOATHE her scale. I have a healthmate digital scale, which I know is accurate. I have a 10 pound bag of flour that I put on it on occasion to make sure it stays "fairly" accurate. The scale this gal used was off from my scale by 20 pounds! YES 20 pounds...I about died. I'm thinking its because its the old fashioned dial kind of scale and she travels with it in her briefcase, so there is no way it can be accurate...(Right?) I'm hoping they don't decide they aren't going to insure me because what I told the dude on the phone interview was 20 pounds different than what my exam reported. I wanted so scream, BUT, BUT, I've lost 56 pounds!!!! That was almost worse than having to fast until 10 this morning. Evidently ExamOne does not realize this girl has eaten two meals my the time 10 a.m. rolls around, so now I am playing catch up and my body will probably be out of whack for a while today. (The 10 a.m. fast was another reason I didn't work out this morning. I would have been absolutely STARVING and by starving I mean, chew my arm off hungry, by 10 had I worked out, as it was I was just a little hungry.)
Felt pretty good to go to Carroll yesterday, buy a size large pair of yoga pants and a size large sundress and know they would fit. The Buckle gave me mixed feelings. It was nice to know that I could fit stuff in there again. It was nice to not have to look for the largest size they carried. BUT, either the gals working there are much less "vulture-like" than they used to be, or I still looked like I was too fat/old/poor to shop there. We didn't even get a hello. We ended up not buying anything either....
Last night, I totally felt like I was cheating. I made a plain pancake muffin, cut it in half put a little peanut butter and some Walden Farms Strawberry fruit spread on it....amazing. It was SOOOOO good. You must try it soon. I got the spread at Hy-Vee in Carroll, its even on sale right now.
Today, I have felt the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat in the span of 2 hours. I put on a pair of aeropastle jeans I bought, without trying on, a month ago, I could not get them over my calves. Today, I am wearing them, plenty of room in the calf and I had to put a belt on too, and for its actual purpose, not just so it looked cute. Evidently the calves are getting smaller. Two short hours later I had my physical for my life insurance and let me just tell you, I hate, no despise, no LOATHE her scale. I have a healthmate digital scale, which I know is accurate. I have a 10 pound bag of flour that I put on it on occasion to make sure it stays "fairly" accurate. The scale this gal used was off from my scale by 20 pounds! YES 20 pounds...I about died. I'm thinking its because its the old fashioned dial kind of scale and she travels with it in her briefcase, so there is no way it can be accurate...(Right?) I'm hoping they don't decide they aren't going to insure me because what I told the dude on the phone interview was 20 pounds different than what my exam reported. I wanted so scream, BUT, BUT, I've lost 56 pounds!!!! That was almost worse than having to fast until 10 this morning. Evidently ExamOne does not realize this girl has eaten two meals my the time 10 a.m. rolls around, so now I am playing catch up and my body will probably be out of whack for a while today. (The 10 a.m. fast was another reason I didn't work out this morning. I would have been absolutely STARVING and by starving I mean, chew my arm off hungry, by 10 had I worked out, as it was I was just a little hungry.)
Felt pretty good to go to Carroll yesterday, buy a size large pair of yoga pants and a size large sundress and know they would fit. The Buckle gave me mixed feelings. It was nice to know that I could fit stuff in there again. It was nice to not have to look for the largest size they carried. BUT, either the gals working there are much less "vulture-like" than they used to be, or I still looked like I was too fat/old/poor to shop there. We didn't even get a hello. We ended up not buying anything either....
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Three whole days
I have exercise for three whole days straight. This sounds utterly and completely pathetic for someone who has been trying to change her lifestyle since June, but its the facts. I exercise, most of the time, maybe 3 days a week, so I am considering 3 days in a row and accomplishment. Two of the three days they were event pre- 6 a.m. workouts. The first 10 minutes of pre-6 a.m. work outs are a mother fucker. Its like your legs are are still sleeping even though the rest of your body is moving and your eyes are open. Okay, sometimes my eyes are not even open yet, but I am making an effort. The goal this week is to exercise all five week days. Baby steps people, baby steps.
I got my hair "did" today. It always makes me feel better. It looks good, but it's making me feel older, as I am back to my natural color and Jaci tells me it looks "gray." Yeah, well kid, I had light blonde hair until I had you people, so....it's your fault.
My family was damned near the downfall of me this week, as they decided on Sunday they needed "dessert". I had in the freezer one of the cursed band cheesecakes, which I took out of the freezer so they could have dessert. I swear to Christ the fucking thing speaks to me as I walk through the kitchen. I will admit I had one bite of Drew's on Sunday. It was DIVINE. I have had to have "outloud" conversations with myself about avoiding the cheesecake. I have to speak the words, "YOU WILL NOT TOUCH THE CHEESECAKE" outloud to myself several times in order to avoid eating it. So far it has worked. If the family does not finish off the cheesecake today, I will throw it away. Or perhaps I will put it back in the freezer for future use.....but I WILL NOT TOUCH THE CHEESECAKE!!!
Food tip:
OMFG this is the best, its my new favorite treat. Since we can now have some peanut butter, (It's almost like the TSFL head honchos knew I was about to go homicidal without peanut butter.) I mix a spoonful of all natural chunky peanut butter into my brownie batter before I bake it....delicioso!!! Try it!
I got my hair "did" today. It always makes me feel better. It looks good, but it's making me feel older, as I am back to my natural color and Jaci tells me it looks "gray." Yeah, well kid, I had light blonde hair until I had you people, so....it's your fault.
My family was damned near the downfall of me this week, as they decided on Sunday they needed "dessert". I had in the freezer one of the cursed band cheesecakes, which I took out of the freezer so they could have dessert. I swear to Christ the fucking thing speaks to me as I walk through the kitchen. I will admit I had one bite of Drew's on Sunday. It was DIVINE. I have had to have "outloud" conversations with myself about avoiding the cheesecake. I have to speak the words, "YOU WILL NOT TOUCH THE CHEESECAKE" outloud to myself several times in order to avoid eating it. So far it has worked. If the family does not finish off the cheesecake today, I will throw it away. Or perhaps I will put it back in the freezer for future use.....but I WILL NOT TOUCH THE CHEESECAKE!!!
Food tip:
OMFG this is the best, its my new favorite treat. Since we can now have some peanut butter, (It's almost like the TSFL head honchos knew I was about to go homicidal without peanut butter.) I mix a spoonful of all natural chunky peanut butter into my brownie batter before I bake it....delicioso!!! Try it!
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