much to say today, but need to get in the habit of talking to you all as often as I can.
I wore my skinny jeans today, saw several people I haven't seen in a while (like a few years). They called me a skinny bitch. I loved it.
Saw my ex boss today, he's still scared of me. I loved it.
Got sucked into the fresh bread aisle at Hy-Vee today. I loved it. I truly do miss bread. I miss the ease of a sandwich when I'm in a hurry and don't have time to throw a meal together. (Yes, I know, cut up the vegetables, make a big bowl of salad. Yada yada yada. Salad tastes better when someone else makes it. Its scientifically proven.) I only bought a bag of rolls...for the party tomorrow. (Yes, I added more food to the party, I am making shredded beef and bought dollar buns for sandwiches. I figured I'd catch hell from the "brother from another mother" if there was no beef on my menu.)
I bought $85 worth of beer today. Should be a good party! (With my set of friends, something tells me, it still won't be enough.)
I dearly love Powerade Zero, I wish it came in a keg, then I could get one of those keg fridges and put it in there and I would be one happy, skinny bitch.
This happy, skinny bitch is leaving the building, have a great weekend!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
I give up
on Lynn and Escape from Obesity. (Had you worried there for a milisecond, didn't I Coach K?) When I first stumbled across her blog and she quasi inspired me to start blogging, she had some amazing posts and insight and I was thinking, 'Wow' this chick is right on! Now, I just think she's a fucking wackadoo nutcase. It's not to say I don't sort of relate to her once in a while, in the, "Well, since you went ahead and had that bite of chocolate you may as well eat the whole piece, and while you're at it, that slice of pizza, a bologna sandwich and a bag a chips," sort of feeling. I just don't get her "OH MY GOD LAST night I had a salt binge." OH MY GOD, last night, I ate an entire wheel of cheese. (I'm not even mad, I'm actually impressed!...sorry, I couldn't help but throw the Anchorman reference in there.) She's one who SERIOUSLY needs to shit or get off the pot. Yes, we struggle, we ALL struggle. We battle with our inner demons and our thoughts of things we should and shouldn't eat/do, but MY GOD, this woman needs some serious help, and more than what she gets from blogging, so I have removed her from my favorites and have replaced her with Running on Empty Carbs, also a blog spot blog, recommended by Jen M. This chick is uber funny. She and I could have a serious battle amongst our inner monologues, because she says some shit, even I can't put into words. Check her out. Hilarious.
I mentioned should and shouldn't do earlier. I am like the queen of knowing what I should and shouldn't do, or should and shouldn't have done. If only I could turn that hindsight into action, I might, by now have been able to conquer the world. For instance. I know I SHOULD have gone to class a little more often and skipped the beer parties or watching Young and the Restless and Days of our Lives, and if I had I'd have graduated from college, but alas, that didn't happen. (Side note: For those of you who are true stalker friends, you should know I bleed cardinal and gold and it dismays me more than a little that Thumb Boy has a degree from my beloved State, yet I couldn't manage to do it.) Another side note: I did have a few roadblocks that did not allow me to continue my studies, both of them have the initials DJC. Does all of that mean I regret the way my life has turned out? Oh hell no, I just am give an example of the things I SHOULD know.
I SHOULD be able to just drop what I am doing in the evenings. (Put the DVR on to record the Ghost Adventures marathon) and be able to go work out. I SHOULD be able to avoid, at all costs, the bread and potato chip aisle at the grocery store. I SHOULD be able to fit into those Hollister jeans I purposely bought on clearance too small. I SHOULD be able to floss every day. Are you getting where I am going with this? Just because I SHOULD, doesn't always mean I do. I try, but I don't always do. It's something that I hope to work on, its just that I've never been particularly good with goals. To me, strict goals sometimes just highlight the enormousness of my failings. So while I am not setting any hard and fast GOALS, right now, I am working on things I SHOULD do to go in the direction I want to go.
I WANT to run a 10 minute mile in the 5K's I am going to be in this summer. Is it a true goal. Hell no, the goal is to not pop a lung or break a hip. But that 10 minute mark is something to work towards. I WANT to be a size 10. Is that a hard and fast goal? UMMMM...no not really. I will be quite content in a solid, nearly every pair of jeans I have is an 11. Again, it's something to work towards. I just know that I don't want to be any bigger than 11/12 because that's too close to letting myself 'ease' back into the fat girl section. SO, in order to get to these things I want to work towards, I SHOULD stay on plan and do my best everyday to not let myself down. That's what I SHOULD do.
I mentioned should and shouldn't do earlier. I am like the queen of knowing what I should and shouldn't do, or should and shouldn't have done. If only I could turn that hindsight into action, I might, by now have been able to conquer the world. For instance. I know I SHOULD have gone to class a little more often and skipped the beer parties or watching Young and the Restless and Days of our Lives, and if I had I'd have graduated from college, but alas, that didn't happen. (Side note: For those of you who are true stalker friends, you should know I bleed cardinal and gold and it dismays me more than a little that Thumb Boy has a degree from my beloved State, yet I couldn't manage to do it.) Another side note: I did have a few roadblocks that did not allow me to continue my studies, both of them have the initials DJC. Does all of that mean I regret the way my life has turned out? Oh hell no, I just am give an example of the things I SHOULD know.
I SHOULD be able to just drop what I am doing in the evenings. (Put the DVR on to record the Ghost Adventures marathon) and be able to go work out. I SHOULD be able to avoid, at all costs, the bread and potato chip aisle at the grocery store. I SHOULD be able to fit into those Hollister jeans I purposely bought on clearance too small. I SHOULD be able to floss every day. Are you getting where I am going with this? Just because I SHOULD, doesn't always mean I do. I try, but I don't always do. It's something that I hope to work on, its just that I've never been particularly good with goals. To me, strict goals sometimes just highlight the enormousness of my failings. So while I am not setting any hard and fast GOALS, right now, I am working on things I SHOULD do to go in the direction I want to go.
I WANT to run a 10 minute mile in the 5K's I am going to be in this summer. Is it a true goal. Hell no, the goal is to not pop a lung or break a hip. But that 10 minute mark is something to work towards. I WANT to be a size 10. Is that a hard and fast goal? UMMMM...no not really. I will be quite content in a solid, nearly every pair of jeans I have is an 11. Again, it's something to work towards. I just know that I don't want to be any bigger than 11/12 because that's too close to letting myself 'ease' back into the fat girl section. SO, in order to get to these things I want to work towards, I SHOULD stay on plan and do my best everyday to not let myself down. That's what I SHOULD do.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Tequila!
I can't believe i forgot to mention tequila. I will also have a bottle of smuggled from Mexico tequila that will need to be consumed at my next adult beverage laden gathering. And if the void has anything to say about it, I'm sure Mr. Rumplemintz will also be invited. (Not that this matters to many of you, and not that I will be consuming the majority of this, I'm using this as a 'Hey don't forget to buy all of this shit' reminder for myself. You know, if you write it down you are less likely to forget it.)
Today will be a post full of randomness...
I swear to Christ I am one of the few weight loss bloggers that does not have a myriad of health issues, as in, go to the doctor every other day, switch doctors three times in the last three months because I'm not getting diagnosed with anything type people. (Here's a hint sweetpea, visit a fucking shrink...your problems need a mental health physician, not a general practitioner.) While I feel for people who don't, well, feel good, I have little patience for hearing about their ongoing medical crisis, especially when they want to lament about it incessantly for weeks on end.
Wow...I have used a lot of big words in my last two blogs. Felonious, lament, incessantly. (Yes, there will be a vocabulary quiz later.)
So, we had family trip to the dentist this morning...LOOK AT THAT! It's a step in the right direction towards this whole optimal health thing, right? I even scheduled all of us for another check up in six months! It had been a scarily long time since I had been to the dentist. It's not that I'm "afraid" of the dentist, it's just that I have flashbacks of being a child going to see Dr. Fischer and having his catcher's mitt sized hands coming at my tiny little mouth. (Okay, fine, you win, my mouth was never tiny, but my God that man had enormous hands.) Jaci, no cavities, Drew, no cavities, me, no cavities, we were on a roll till the void had to ruin our streak...poor baby has to get a filling on Monday. (And to think he's the one that packs the rest of our asses about not brushing "well enough." Take that.....)
I did have wine last night several glasses. I also had shrimp that was supposed to be grilled, it was most likely nuked and then left on the plate for oh, I don't know 18 minutes before serving. With it I had a Greek salad. Holy bad breath after the Feta cheese and Greek dressing on that bad boy. My apologies Dr. Schulz if the crest and listerine didn't take care of that. I consider it a small victory that i ate that while sitting next to a ginormous bowl of fettuccine with garlic bread...two of my very favorite things...I even managed not to drool on Michelle. At least I think I didn't.
Holy fucknuts, it's been cold...wowza, spring cannot get here soon enough.
Not that I want to make excuses for myself, but seeing as how I only have an elliptical and not a treadmill at my house, I need to join the health center so I can begin to train for my not, one, but TWO 5k runs I have said I will do this summer. My quasi-excuse...I cannot join the gym until after wrestling season, there is just no time. Life is too hectic to commit to "gym work" outside of the home until wrestling season is over. The plus side..wrestling season will be over soon. The junior high season ends Feb. 24, AAU will continue, through March, but there will not be evening meeting associated with that. SO, my plan, join gym March 1, begin Couch to 5K program at that time. If anyone would care to join me, feel free, the more the merrier.
I really need to plan better. Mornings at my house are nothing short of chaotic. It usually involves me trying to manage Jaci's 'fro' while putting on mascara and brushing my teeth while Drew throws some toaster strudle in the toaster so they can eat it in the car on the way to school, so I'm not known as "one of those moms" who doesn't feed their kids before throwing them out the door. This morning, was no different, as we got ready to go to the dentist. As I'm hurrying out the door, I forgot to grab any of my "food." I really didn't want to eat after my teeth cleaning and polishing, but I knew I needed to, so alas, breakfast this morning was a bag of semi crushed honey mustard pretzels that had been floating in the bottom of my purse for some time. Snack will be tomato soup that was in my desk drawer. I'm leaving today at 2, so I am hoping I can hold out until then....
Today will be a post full of randomness...
I swear to Christ I am one of the few weight loss bloggers that does not have a myriad of health issues, as in, go to the doctor every other day, switch doctors three times in the last three months because I'm not getting diagnosed with anything type people. (Here's a hint sweetpea, visit a fucking shrink...your problems need a mental health physician, not a general practitioner.) While I feel for people who don't, well, feel good, I have little patience for hearing about their ongoing medical crisis, especially when they want to lament about it incessantly for weeks on end.
Wow...I have used a lot of big words in my last two blogs. Felonious, lament, incessantly. (Yes, there will be a vocabulary quiz later.)
So, we had family trip to the dentist this morning...LOOK AT THAT! It's a step in the right direction towards this whole optimal health thing, right? I even scheduled all of us for another check up in six months! It had been a scarily long time since I had been to the dentist. It's not that I'm "afraid" of the dentist, it's just that I have flashbacks of being a child going to see Dr. Fischer and having his catcher's mitt sized hands coming at my tiny little mouth. (Okay, fine, you win, my mouth was never tiny, but my God that man had enormous hands.) Jaci, no cavities, Drew, no cavities, me, no cavities, we were on a roll till the void had to ruin our streak...poor baby has to get a filling on Monday. (And to think he's the one that packs the rest of our asses about not brushing "well enough." Take that.....)
I did have wine last night several glasses. I also had shrimp that was supposed to be grilled, it was most likely nuked and then left on the plate for oh, I don't know 18 minutes before serving. With it I had a Greek salad. Holy bad breath after the Feta cheese and Greek dressing on that bad boy. My apologies Dr. Schulz if the crest and listerine didn't take care of that. I consider it a small victory that i ate that while sitting next to a ginormous bowl of fettuccine with garlic bread...two of my very favorite things...I even managed not to drool on Michelle. At least I think I didn't.
Holy fucknuts, it's been cold...wowza, spring cannot get here soon enough.
Not that I want to make excuses for myself, but seeing as how I only have an elliptical and not a treadmill at my house, I need to join the health center so I can begin to train for my not, one, but TWO 5k runs I have said I will do this summer. My quasi-excuse...I cannot join the gym until after wrestling season, there is just no time. Life is too hectic to commit to "gym work" outside of the home until wrestling season is over. The plus side..wrestling season will be over soon. The junior high season ends Feb. 24, AAU will continue, through March, but there will not be evening meeting associated with that. SO, my plan, join gym March 1, begin Couch to 5K program at that time. If anyone would care to join me, feel free, the more the merrier.
I really need to plan better. Mornings at my house are nothing short of chaotic. It usually involves me trying to manage Jaci's 'fro' while putting on mascara and brushing my teeth while Drew throws some toaster strudle in the toaster so they can eat it in the car on the way to school, so I'm not known as "one of those moms" who doesn't feed their kids before throwing them out the door. This morning, was no different, as we got ready to go to the dentist. As I'm hurrying out the door, I forgot to grab any of my "food." I really didn't want to eat after my teeth cleaning and polishing, but I knew I needed to, so alas, breakfast this morning was a bag of semi crushed honey mustard pretzels that had been floating in the bottom of my purse for some time. Snack will be tomato soup that was in my desk drawer. I'm leaving today at 2, so I am hoping I can hold out until then....
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Survivor
Did you survive Superbowl Sunday? Did you even acknowledge it's passing? Some people aren't into the Superbowl, and that's fine, I myself, look forward to any excuse to throw back a beer or two with friends. Oh, it's Tuesday, you say? Perfect time for a beer! Your cousin's boyfriend's nephew just got circumcised? Congrats, let's celebrate!--It's just how I roll. And roll I did. Yes, that was me you saw drinking a pina colada at Molly's on Sunday, guilty as charged. I cannot let coconut and pineapple flavored goodness pass me by when it has alcohol in it, especially when there is shopping involved and when it is free. Sorry, again, that's just how I roll.
I did NOT however, allow for my pina colada episode to completely derail my efforts. I was 100% on plan food wise. I did also switch from pina colada heaven to Select when we went to watch the Superbowl later that evening. Yes, I know, beer is not allowed on plan. Hello? Have you met me? Are you an approved Stalker Friend? If so you should know I do not follow rules well and I won't completely give up my beer. Is it hindering me getting to my goal sooner? Probably, but that is a decision I have made and one I have lived with and as long as I am not standing in my underwear in my kitchen following a night of boozing it up, eating a bag of Totino's pizza rolls while taking Hidden Valley ranch shooters, I'll be fine. (If that day comes, Coach K and Coach K Squared, have my full permission to beat me, commit me, whatever they need to do to pry the ranch dressing an pizza rolls out of my drunken cold hands.)
As I said in a previous post, I do not let a night of adult beverage enhanced indulgence give license to eat whatever the hell I want. Did I spend an inordinate amount of time in front of Carol's shrimp platter? Yes, I did, but again, do you realize how much shrimp 7 ounces really is? And the time in front of the shrimp tray, was not time spent in front of the bowl of Ruffles.
Down 2 pounds this week. That is 7 pounds in 2 weeks. That is almost a complete erasure of my time off the wagon. The jeans I bought when given a 20 minute mad dash through Gordman's on my birthday are size 31's. YEEEE-HAW!!!! (yes, they do have 2% stretch in them, I don't really give a shit.) While I need to step my exercising efforts back up, as I'm feeling a little flabby, I am back on my weigh down. (Yes, pun intended there).
I have another adult beverage laden indulgence planned for the weekend. I am fully prepared for it. Shrimp, turkey meatballs, wings (I don't really care for hot wings, so not a problem there) veggie tray with WF dip (regular dip for the regulars) I'm thinking of making some grilled chicken and steak kebab thingys and I will probably have chips and salsa for the others, only because I adore my chip and dip set and use it every chance I can. Yes, this sounds like an enormous amount of food. It is. Coach K can attest to my Betty Crocker/Martha Stewart tendencies. I can get a bit carried away at times. I also have Select 55, vodka and lots of crystal lite on hand.
Tonight, I may cave and have a glass of wine. Yes, wine is mostly sugar and carbs and lots of bad stuff. But, I adore wine and I am going to a WINERY. And for someone who adores wine to not have a glass while IN a WINERY, seems like it could be felonious. I will do perfect, food wise, through and for me, that's good enough today.
I did NOT however, allow for my pina colada episode to completely derail my efforts. I was 100% on plan food wise. I did also switch from pina colada heaven to Select when we went to watch the Superbowl later that evening. Yes, I know, beer is not allowed on plan. Hello? Have you met me? Are you an approved Stalker Friend? If so you should know I do not follow rules well and I won't completely give up my beer. Is it hindering me getting to my goal sooner? Probably, but that is a decision I have made and one I have lived with and as long as I am not standing in my underwear in my kitchen following a night of boozing it up, eating a bag of Totino's pizza rolls while taking Hidden Valley ranch shooters, I'll be fine. (If that day comes, Coach K and Coach K Squared, have my full permission to beat me, commit me, whatever they need to do to pry the ranch dressing an pizza rolls out of my drunken cold hands.)
As I said in a previous post, I do not let a night of adult beverage enhanced indulgence give license to eat whatever the hell I want. Did I spend an inordinate amount of time in front of Carol's shrimp platter? Yes, I did, but again, do you realize how much shrimp 7 ounces really is? And the time in front of the shrimp tray, was not time spent in front of the bowl of Ruffles.
Down 2 pounds this week. That is 7 pounds in 2 weeks. That is almost a complete erasure of my time off the wagon. The jeans I bought when given a 20 minute mad dash through Gordman's on my birthday are size 31's. YEEEE-HAW!!!! (yes, they do have 2% stretch in them, I don't really give a shit.) While I need to step my exercising efforts back up, as I'm feeling a little flabby, I am back on my weigh down. (Yes, pun intended there).
I have another adult beverage laden indulgence planned for the weekend. I am fully prepared for it. Shrimp, turkey meatballs, wings (I don't really care for hot wings, so not a problem there) veggie tray with WF dip (regular dip for the regulars) I'm thinking of making some grilled chicken and steak kebab thingys and I will probably have chips and salsa for the others, only because I adore my chip and dip set and use it every chance I can. Yes, this sounds like an enormous amount of food. It is. Coach K can attest to my Betty Crocker/Martha Stewart tendencies. I can get a bit carried away at times. I also have Select 55, vodka and lots of crystal lite on hand.
Tonight, I may cave and have a glass of wine. Yes, wine is mostly sugar and carbs and lots of bad stuff. But, I adore wine and I am going to a WINERY. And for someone who adores wine to not have a glass while IN a WINERY, seems like it could be felonious. I will do perfect, food wise, through and for me, that's good enough today.
Friday, February 4, 2011
An AHA moment!
I have had an AHA moment...it doesn't happen often and to have one before I even starting my schooling with Coach K, is somewhat of a breakthrough for me. (Yes, I said I will begin schooling with Coach K. I am picturing her rapping me over the knuckles with a ruler when I answer, "I don't know.") My AHA moment is this: I have trouble with food because food never judges me. Food never cares what I wear, what I say or how I act. Food is never mad at me, it never demands too much of me. It never nags me. It never wants too much. Food truly is a comfort to me. The second part of the AHA comes in realizing the things food/overating DOES. Overeating DOES make me feel bad, it does make me sick (at times) and make me want to cry. It DOES make me less of a person. It DOES make me feel worse, after it's supposedly made me feel better. Learning to let the DOES outweigh the DOESN'T is what I am working on now.
Wednesday night after rocking my day, the kids and hubs in bed, I got struck with some way out there in left field anxiety, over what, who the hell knows. I just had this feeling of, "Everyone hates me, Everyone's mad at me, boy I really fucked something up, didn't I?" What did I do, I wandered to the kitchen. What happened next? Ice. I grabbed a book and a bowl of ice and started munching. It's like the whole hand to mouth chew on something is what I HAD to have to make that feeling go away. Crazy, I know. But it did go away, I went to bed, woke up the next morning and knew that everything was fine, no one (well, at least no one I care about) hated me or was mad at me and I didn't screw anything up.
Yesterday I had another perfectly on plan day. After the wrestling meet, I came home and exercised. Since I did elliptical Wednesday night, last night was toning. 30 minutes of toning with my resistance bands. Leg lifts, lunges and squats with my ankle weights on. Ab work, again with my ankle weights. WHOA, you say, how does one do ab work with ankle weights? Simple, when doing your crunches, bend your knees up at like a 90 degree angle form the floor, cross your ankles and then do your crunches, kind of like a double crunch. Trust me, the ankle weights work. I will share my second ankle weight/ab work out in a minute.
It feels good to be back on the wagon and back in a routine. It feels good to climb on the scale again instead of fearing it. The pain in my abs today, feels REALLY good. The fact that i can eat a chocolate brownie/cookie 5 times a day kicks ass.
KILLER AB WORK OUT:
This will kick crunches completely out of our work out program.
Lie flat on your back, hands at your sides. with your knees pressed together lift both legs off the ground about 6 inches and hold, as long as you can. Start with 30 seconds and try to work up to two minutes. For increased workouts, hold an exercise ball between your ankles while doing this, (obviously that will make your knees come apart, just pretend like Brad Pitt is in the room and throw those knees open girls) OR, put on the beloved ankle weights. Trust me, you will feel it after about 15 seconds and 1-2 minutes will truly kick your ass. I can only do one minute, now.
Wednesday night after rocking my day, the kids and hubs in bed, I got struck with some way out there in left field anxiety, over what, who the hell knows. I just had this feeling of, "Everyone hates me, Everyone's mad at me, boy I really fucked something up, didn't I?" What did I do, I wandered to the kitchen. What happened next? Ice. I grabbed a book and a bowl of ice and started munching. It's like the whole hand to mouth chew on something is what I HAD to have to make that feeling go away. Crazy, I know. But it did go away, I went to bed, woke up the next morning and knew that everything was fine, no one (well, at least no one I care about) hated me or was mad at me and I didn't screw anything up.
Yesterday I had another perfectly on plan day. After the wrestling meet, I came home and exercised. Since I did elliptical Wednesday night, last night was toning. 30 minutes of toning with my resistance bands. Leg lifts, lunges and squats with my ankle weights on. Ab work, again with my ankle weights. WHOA, you say, how does one do ab work with ankle weights? Simple, when doing your crunches, bend your knees up at like a 90 degree angle form the floor, cross your ankles and then do your crunches, kind of like a double crunch. Trust me, the ankle weights work. I will share my second ankle weight/ab work out in a minute.
It feels good to be back on the wagon and back in a routine. It feels good to climb on the scale again instead of fearing it. The pain in my abs today, feels REALLY good. The fact that i can eat a chocolate brownie/cookie 5 times a day kicks ass.
KILLER AB WORK OUT:
This will kick crunches completely out of our work out program.
Lie flat on your back, hands at your sides. with your knees pressed together lift both legs off the ground about 6 inches and hold, as long as you can. Start with 30 seconds and try to work up to two minutes. For increased workouts, hold an exercise ball between your ankles while doing this, (obviously that will make your knees come apart, just pretend like Brad Pitt is in the room and throw those knees open girls) OR, put on the beloved ankle weights. Trust me, you will feel it after about 15 seconds and 1-2 minutes will truly kick your ass. I can only do one minute, now.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Still wondering
What it is I will do at goal that I cannot do now. (forgive me if i get distracted and ramble, I am trying to have a diagnostic chat with Jack at HP because our fucking piece of shit printer that we just got in December is acting up again. Perhaps I should have stayed on the phone with Habib...this chat has been going on for 22 minutes and we've done nothing but establish what kind of printer I have and that its not fucking working right.)
So, things I will do at goal that i cannot do now.....hmmmm. I am thinking while I would like to say that at goal my thighs will not rub together, I cannot see that happening. I would need to lose like 125 pounds for that to happen and I don't see that happening.
At my goal weight I would like to say that I will no longer have a dunlap. (you know, you done lapped over the top of your jeans) But considering that I will still have excess skin and cannot afford plastic surgery, that dog ain't gunna hunt either. (Oh for fuck sake dude, isn't there just a reset button somewhere????)
At my goal weight I would like to be known as a runner...hey that one might happen. There. Got one. At my goal weight/size I will be a runner. I will picture me in running shorts and a sleek running top, running down the bike trail, running in our July 4th 5K. Eat your fucking heart out Forest Gump. I WIll be RUNNING!!!
I would like to say at my goal weight I will wear a medium. But I don't think that will happen either and its not that important to me. While I would like to say its nice to be a medium, but, if I don't make a medium it won't be the end of the world. (ARE YOU KIDDIN ME!!!! 32 MINUTES INTO THE CHAT AND YOU"RE HAVING ME CALL AN 800 NUMBER BECAUSE YOU DON"T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MACS!!!) Sorry....At my goal weight I will rule my HP printer....yeah right. I don't think that will happen at any weight.
I digress. At my goal weight I will take up swimming again. There.There's another one. Serious swimming, like multiple laps. Many many moons ago I was a lifeguard and had an 18 second sprint across the pool. I could tread water with a 10 pound diving brick over my head for five full minutes. I could swim laps for 25 minutes straight. I will do that again at my goal weight/size. There...there are two.
Seriously.....nine minutes into the phone call and nothing. I am still on hold for someone who knows how to deal with Macs...
Anywho...that's all he things i can think of for today. I will continue to think on them.
Yesterday was a rocking day, completely on plan, 32 minutes on the elliptical and I GORGED myself with my cauliflower crust pizza. It was soo good and it's huge. I finished it off with one of Krystals cookie recipe from yesterday...It was good, planning on making another one today!
So, things I will do at goal that i cannot do now.....hmmmm. I am thinking while I would like to say that at goal my thighs will not rub together, I cannot see that happening. I would need to lose like 125 pounds for that to happen and I don't see that happening.
At my goal weight I would like to say that I will no longer have a dunlap. (you know, you done lapped over the top of your jeans) But considering that I will still have excess skin and cannot afford plastic surgery, that dog ain't gunna hunt either. (Oh for fuck sake dude, isn't there just a reset button somewhere????)
At my goal weight I would like to be known as a runner...hey that one might happen. There. Got one. At my goal weight/size I will be a runner. I will picture me in running shorts and a sleek running top, running down the bike trail, running in our July 4th 5K. Eat your fucking heart out Forest Gump. I WIll be RUNNING!!!
I would like to say at my goal weight I will wear a medium. But I don't think that will happen either and its not that important to me. While I would like to say its nice to be a medium, but, if I don't make a medium it won't be the end of the world. (ARE YOU KIDDIN ME!!!! 32 MINUTES INTO THE CHAT AND YOU"RE HAVING ME CALL AN 800 NUMBER BECAUSE YOU DON"T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MACS!!!) Sorry....At my goal weight I will rule my HP printer....yeah right. I don't think that will happen at any weight.
I digress. At my goal weight I will take up swimming again. There.There's another one. Serious swimming, like multiple laps. Many many moons ago I was a lifeguard and had an 18 second sprint across the pool. I could tread water with a 10 pound diving brick over my head for five full minutes. I could swim laps for 25 minutes straight. I will do that again at my goal weight/size. There...there are two.
Seriously.....nine minutes into the phone call and nothing. I am still on hold for someone who knows how to deal with Macs...
Anywho...that's all he things i can think of for today. I will continue to think on them.
Yesterday was a rocking day, completely on plan, 32 minutes on the elliptical and I GORGED myself with my cauliflower crust pizza. It was soo good and it's huge. I finished it off with one of Krystals cookie recipe from yesterday...It was good, planning on making another one today!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Breaking up
is hard to do and that truly is what some of us are doing. We are breaking up with our old eating habits. We are breaking up with our favorite foods. We are ending our relationship with food and looking at food as fuel instead of entertainment. Ah hell, who am I kidding, we are ATTEMPTING to do this. We are TRYING to do this. but like I said, breaking up is hard work! I have had no problems kicking potatoes to the curb. Cookies, cake, candy, I threw them out long ago. I have trouble saying, "so long" to things like pasta, peanut butter and bread. And mostly because I cannot THROW these things out. My family still eats these things and enjoys these things and they are not forbidden items for them, as they are for me, nor do I want to make them forbidden items. (Yes, I can hear you saying, 'But wait, we can have peanut butter.' Yes, WE can, I on the other hand cannot because I cannot limit myself to the recommended serving. I cannot be trusted with a jar of peanut butter and a spoon. I have started buying the single serve little bowls. I have Drew hide them so I have no idea where they are and when I want one, or when Jaci wants a peanut butter sandwich, he retrieves them from the depths and divvies them out. It's the only way.) The bread does not usually bother me, but every so often, the kids will want a sandwich and I will stand there sniffing the bread for a good 10 minutes before I make the sandwich because it smells so good. I have taken to leaving the bread in the freezer, out of sight, out of mind and then all they can do is make toast. So far, it's been working. The pasta...I did try the miracle noodles. I made a nice chicken and vegetable lo mein and truly enjoyed it. It totally felt like cheating. I have not made pasta for the family in a few weeks, we shall see how that test goes when the time comes, as I have no more miracle noodles. Ending my relationship with these foods is tough work. It's every day work. Its choices made at each meal.
We had a great meeting on Saturday, it's nice to hear everyone's stories, successes and struggles and to share. Coach K Squared (That's Kristie) asked that we visualize our selves at our goal. So, I am trying to do that this week. She asked what things I would be doing at goal that I can't do now and that's hard to determine. I can and do shop at the Buckle and anywhere else, not just the fat girl section. I can and do exercise, jogging for 20 minutes straight. I can and do wear size large, not extra large or 2X, so my goal this week is to try to determine what I will do at a size 10 that I cannot do now. HTen once I have figured out what that will be, I will visualize myself there. Right now, I am taking things 10 pounds at a time. Just 10 pounds. I had a good weigh in this week, down 5 pounds, so that means five more. Just five more...just one more week on plan. I'll make this plan my bitch again, if it kills me.
We had a great meeting on Saturday, it's nice to hear everyone's stories, successes and struggles and to share. Coach K Squared (That's Kristie) asked that we visualize our selves at our goal. So, I am trying to do that this week. She asked what things I would be doing at goal that I can't do now and that's hard to determine. I can and do shop at the Buckle and anywhere else, not just the fat girl section. I can and do exercise, jogging for 20 minutes straight. I can and do wear size large, not extra large or 2X, so my goal this week is to try to determine what I will do at a size 10 that I cannot do now. HTen once I have figured out what that will be, I will visualize myself there. Right now, I am taking things 10 pounds at a time. Just 10 pounds. I had a good weigh in this week, down 5 pounds, so that means five more. Just five more...just one more week on plan. I'll make this plan my bitch again, if it kills me.
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