I give up

on Lynn and Escape from Obesity. (Had you worried there for a milisecond, didn't I Coach K?) When I first stumbled across her blog and she quasi inspired me to start blogging, she had some amazing posts and insight and I was thinking, 'Wow' this chick is right on! Now, I just think she's a fucking wackadoo nutcase. It's not to say I don't sort of relate to her once in a while, in the, "Well, since you went ahead and had that bite of chocolate you may as well eat the whole piece, and while you're at it, that slice of pizza, a bologna sandwich and a bag a chips," sort of feeling. I just don't get her "OH MY GOD LAST night I had a salt binge." OH MY GOD, last night, I ate an entire wheel of cheese. (I'm not even mad, I'm actually impressed!...sorry, I couldn't help but throw  the Anchorman reference in there.) She's one who SERIOUSLY needs to shit or get off the pot. Yes, we struggle, we ALL struggle. We battle with our inner demons and our thoughts of things we should and shouldn't eat/do, but MY GOD, this woman needs some serious help, and more than what she gets from blogging, so I have removed her from my favorites and have replaced her with Running on Empty Carbs, also a blog spot blog, recommended by Jen M. This chick is uber funny. She and I could have a serious battle amongst our inner monologues, because she says some shit, even I can't put into words. Check her out. Hilarious.
I mentioned should and shouldn't do earlier. I am like the queen of knowing what I should and shouldn't do, or should and shouldn't have done. If only I could turn that hindsight into action, I might, by now have been able to conquer the world. For instance. I know I SHOULD have gone to class a little more often and skipped the beer parties or watching Young and the Restless and Days of our Lives, and if I had I'd have graduated from college, but alas, that didn't happen. (Side note: For those of you who are true stalker friends, you should know I bleed cardinal and gold and it dismays me more than a little that Thumb Boy has a degree from my beloved State, yet I couldn't manage to do it.) Another side note: I did have a few roadblocks that did not allow me to continue my studies, both of them have the initials DJC. Does all of that mean I regret the way my life has turned out? Oh hell no, I just am give an example of the things I SHOULD know.
I SHOULD be able to just drop what I am doing in the evenings. (Put the DVR on to record the Ghost Adventures marathon) and be able to go work out. I SHOULD be able to avoid, at all costs, the bread and potato chip aisle at the grocery store. I SHOULD be able to fit into those Hollister jeans I purposely bought on clearance too small. I SHOULD be able to floss every day. Are you getting where I am going with this? Just because I SHOULD, doesn't always mean I do. I try, but I don't always do. It's something that I hope to work on, its just that I've never been particularly good with goals. To me, strict goals sometimes just highlight the enormousness of my failings. So while I am not setting any hard and fast GOALS, right now, I am working on things I SHOULD do to go in the direction I want to go.
I WANT to run a 10 minute mile in the 5K's I am going to be in this summer. Is it a true  goal. Hell no, the goal is to not pop a lung or break a hip. But that 10 minute mark is something to work towards. I WANT to be a size 10. Is that a hard and fast goal? UMMMM...no not really. I will be quite content in a solid, nearly every pair of jeans I have is an 11. Again, it's something to work towards. I just know that I don't want to be any bigger than 11/12 because that's too close to letting myself 'ease' back into the fat girl section.  SO, in order to get to these things I want to work towards, I SHOULD stay on plan and do my best everyday to not let myself down. That's what I SHOULD do.