Recommitment

Serious re-commitment is what I'm trying to do. No, it's what I AM doing. Serious 100% ass kicking, no excuses, no wavering, no second guessing re-commitment. I am learning things that common sense has told me I should already know, but in writing some of these things down and looking at my own failures and short comings in black and white, it's like another A-HA moment.
I'm trying to picture myself at "optimal health" but I can honestly say that I don't know that I will ever see myself as one of those "I'm forever going to make the healthiest decisions." type of gals or that people will look at me and say, 'She is the picture of perfect health.'  I don't know that I will ever be a "Throw away the bar-b-que nachos, they will make me sick and hand me a stalk of celery sprinkled with sea salt, you junk food heathens!" Type of person...perhaps I will be, I just don't see that, today.
I am trying to picture a happier, healthier, smaller assed me. The problem I have is that I still see the miserable, flabby six chinned me in the mirror, that's the part that needs fixing. That's what the focus is on.
I have also come to the conclusion that June 1 will be it. I will be in transition, or completely out of transition and in maintenance on June 1. That will be my one year anniversary. That will be it, no matter what the scale says. I have also decided that I would like the scale to read 40 pounds less than it does now. Okay 44 pounds...that would be 100 pounds lost in a year. Can I do it? Quite honestly it scares the living shit out of me. The reality is 44 pounds is 11 pounds per month. Very easy to do on this plan. The Devil's Advocate in me is saying, "If it were truly that easy, wouldn't you already be there?" I know its not easy but neither is child birth and I did that shit twice. I can do this shit twice, too.
The void seems to think he has the magical solution to jumping back into the program head first. More sex. Funny, that's his answer to everything. "Crisis in Lybia, you say? They obviously should change the name of their country to Labia and have more sex. Problem solved. Unions protesting against the possible elimination of collective bargaining? Hmm...they should just have a giant orgy, problem would be over." That's what would happen if he ran the world. When it comes to my weight loss issues, unfortunately it doesn't burn NEARLY enough calories for the amount of effort required.
So, here we are again, recommitting, again. Saying that's it again. This time, I think it's going to be different. It has to be. It WILL be. (Power of positive attitude and all that bullshit..)