In my head

holiday means "excuse to eat/drink whatever you want." It makes me wonder whose bright idea it was to make all holiday gatherings revolve around food. Take my mother's house, for example...we had and I am NOT exaggerating here, EIGHT different dips and or cracker spreads, summer sausage and cheese, pickled herring, a relish tray, 3 different kinds of snack/chex mix, oreo balls, peanut butter balls, homemade caramels, three different kinds of cookies and eight different kinds of wine. There were only 11 of us there and three of us, are children. AND that was before dinner and desert...I am going to be brutally honest here, I didn't even look at the relish tray. I drank two bottles of wine, by myself. I had two dinner rolls. Even our "vegetable" was a carb, as mom made corn. Did I stop eating and pull my head out of the cracker box after that? Hell no...that night, we snacked on left over "snacky stuff" from mom's for supper. THEN on Sunday, we had dinner at my mother in law's. Turkey, stuffing, potatoes, rolls, and yes, mint brownies and 4 layer desert....for supper last night, popcorn and m&m's....Today, my hair is greasy, my jeans are tight, I have a headache and I'm for lack of a better word..."puffy" in fact, I feel like the Michelin man.
There is absolutely NO reason why I cannot make today my new "day 1" other than the fact that half of my brain is saying, "Nope, you said Jan. 1 you were going to start over on Jan. 1, not Dec, 27, so Jan. 1 it is, eat that remaining cracker and dip combo and drink the rest of that wine and do like 90% of the rest of the general public and start fresh on Jan. 1."
Its not like we've even planned anything for New Year's Eve, in fact, we don't typically go out because there are too many cops hanging around, but on the off chance we might go somewhere and do something, I don't want to be restricted....meanwhile, I'm sitting here restricted because my clothes are tight and I feel like shit....such is my inner battle, the battle I always have....my head knows what it's supposed to eat...I KNOW how to do this...I just wish my head would tell the rest of me to follow suit...