I keep telling myself

if lifestyle change was easy, everyone would be a perfect size 4. The reality is, this is not easy. This is not a "magic" fix. This is not something you can turn on and turn off and expect to excel at. That's not to say that I will never again eat spaghetti and garlic bread. That is never to say I will never again eat a slice of birthday cake. That is never to say that I won't down half a pizza. I cannot say never to anything.
The thing that I am learning is that I will forever have to be diligent. I will forever have to be mindful of what I put into my body and what I expect to get back out of it. The most important thing I am learning, and sometimes this is a toughy for us, but the most important thing is to realize it all starts and ends with me. I am the person I am most effecting with every decision I make. If I CHOOSE not to be on plan 100% that is on me. That's not the diet not working. That's not Coach K not doing it for me. That's not my "body" failing me to tricking me. That's just me. Yes, there may be people who influence the decisions I make, for example, as Coach/Dr. K and I have come to call him, "The Void" has influences on the decisions I make, but ultimately, I have to be held accountable for those decisions.
If, some day I down a half a pizza, that will be a decision that I will have to live with. The very thought of it makes me sick, but its still going to come down to a choice. I can eat it, or I can walk away, or what will most likely happen, I will have a slice or two and be fine.
I'm starting to ramble a bit here, but alas, it's my blog, so deal with it...I know that I am accountable for my actions. I cannot blame The Void. I have to learn to fill it with something other than empty calories. I cannot blame TSFL, I have a cupboard full of their products, I have the materials to be successful, it is  my choice whether I use the materials correctly or not. I cannot blame Coach K, she is not stuffing spaghetti and garlic bread down my pie hole. Quite the opposite, in fact, she chewed my ass for that little episode, and appropriately so...
If I see a gain this week, I will know that it is because I let the Void overtake me and ate the several bites of spaghetti and a nibble of garlic bread and that was ALLLL me. If I don't get my water in, that's on my shoulders. If I don't eat all of my greens, it's something I have to deal with. Am I striving to be perfect, no. But, the thing I am striving for is acceptance. the ability to accept that the decisions I make affect the outcome. That little spaghetti/garlic bread/void incident this week, may ultimately cause me to not meet my goal. I can either accept that, or do something about it and since this is about the CHOICES I make I CHOOSE to do both...I accept that I stumbled BUT, I am going to move forward. I am going to find something to fill the void with. (Last night it was texting Coach K about the fact that our Medifarts could be used in chemical warfare.) I will accept my decisions and learn from them. I will work even harder to hit that March 1 goal.
Mini-victory- As I write about pizza, I got a pizza for the kids/void to eat last night. It was late wreslting practice/dance night, so a busy one at our house. I brought the pizza home, the kids ate their part of it, I made myself some stir fry, was stuffed and was able to completely leave the pizza alone, even with the void gone....see its a mindset. I CHOSE not to eat the pizza. I CHOOSE to keep that up.
Recipe:
StirFry STUFF
(Half stole this from a low-carb diet website)
1/2 cup shredded cabbage/coleslaw mix (pick out carrots if you can)
1/2 can LaChoy sprouts
chopped green pepper and onion (whatever you like, I used a whole green pepper chopped)
dash of onion and garlic powders
dash of crushed red pepper flakes
1 T sesame oil
low sodium soy sauce
lean serving (last night I used 5 oz. ground pork. I have used ground beef/turkey/chicken, chicken breast, sliced pork and steak and shrimp, all work well.)
Cook your lean in a skillet sprayed with PAM. Set aside. Add pepper and green onion and cabbage, sautee until tender, add sprouts when the rest of your green is cooked to your liking. Add your protein back to the skillet, add seasonings, oil and soy sauce, heat through, stirring well. This makes a BIG ol bowl of goodness. I like the sprouts because I am a HUGE Lo-mein fan and the spouts make a very nice substitute for the noodles. I also am generous with the red pepper flakes, it really kicks up the spice, which in turn makes you drink more water....:)