That is what i am doing kids. Yesterday, when I got off work, I went straight to DG and bought 3 jumbo packages of ass wipe. A. because we needed it. (The void gets cranky when I steal all of the shit paper from his bathroom and I had already done that) and B. I wanted it to be sort of a symbol. A gesture if you will, to me actually giving a damn again, because as I said yesterday, it's time to shit.
I wish I could tell you there is some magical light switch that I found that I switched back on, but there isn't. I also wish I could tell you with 100% certainty that this will be the last time I "start over." But I will wish in one hand and ahem, shit...in the other and see which fills up first, because this probably won't be the last time I start over. I am not perfect, nor do I strive to be, right now, I am striving to be better than I have been, and honestly, that shouldn't take much.
I have been "back on plan" since Monday. And I put that in parentheses because I would say 98% back on plan. Monday, 100%, Tuesday, 90%, (the Jaci sized handful of popcorn) yesterday, 95%. I found my hand in a bowl full of M&M's left over from Drew's birthday. After eating 2, I caught myself, threw the rest of the M&M's in a baggie and told Jaci to take them to her room. Mice be damned. I would rather have a mouse find her candy stash than to have me stick my hand back in that jar.
I also decided to switch it up a little. The plan "bible" says we are to eat almost immediately after getting out of bed. I have even heard of people who eat while still lying in bed. I honestly cannot stomach it, I am not hungry til about 9 or 9:30. Plus, I am a night eater/snacker, so by eating my first meal of the day at 9 or 9:30, instead of at 7:30, I have more that i can eat from 4:00 on. It worked well for me last night, other than the devil M&M's. That was 100% unconscious behavior. I think it's because I dearly love the little commercial where the M&M's are throwing shit and the guy and say, "YOU get in the bowl." that is genius commercial writing right there.
I scale hopped this morning and I am down 2 pounds since Tuesday. Sorry stalker friends, I am not yet ready to admit what the scale said on Tuesday, just know that it was big hairy mole, ass kicked by the ugly stick, ugly...Only Coach K knows and she's like the CIA, she will guard it with her life.
I had a few non-scale victories yesterday, perhaps that is what kicked my ass into re-programming mode, or it my have been my mini-therapy session with Coach. (I'll give her the credit) But I have been eyeing this pair of gray cargo pants at Abby's for the last few months. I am leery of cargo pants b/c they can add some bulk, but honestly I needed a few pairs of pants other than jeans for work. I went ahead and bought them yesterday. They are a 13/14. They are a little baggy, but they look good and the best part, I got them for a quarter...can't beat that!
My other NSV, the void, (who has been very ass-kissy...must have realized my "I want to poke your eyes out with a toothpick" look I had been giving him since his 2 back to back weekends in Chicago...he DVR'ed a Bon Jovi special for me when he was at home for lunch yesterday. He said that he was watching something on the NFL channel when he hit guide and noticed the Bon Jovi show and thought, hmm I can watch this NFL program again tomorrow, I had better tape this for Jill...very thoughtful.) Anywho...the void was at his favorite watering hole last night when a certain bald, middle aged fella, who shall remain nameless, asked him "what in the hell happened to your wife? She's always been a few classes ahead of you, in fact to the point where one has to wonder if you keep her drugged, but i saw her a few weeks ago and she's smoking hot!" Me likey....like Coach said, those are the kind of things I have to remember. Random middle aged fellas telling my hubby I'm hot. Feeling great in size 12 jeans. Tall boots that fit over my annoyingly huge calves.
So for now stalker friends, I'm going to keep shitting...I hope if you're at a standstill in your journey that you find your own personal Mylanta and get the shits too...
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