the life of my brain, is truly terrifying. This I have decided, because it's becoming more and more common for me to feel the need to expound random thoughts. There is so much random shit floating around in my brain at any one given moment that it's a miracle that I am not in therapy or heavily medicated. Perhaps I should be.
Weight wise, we're doing good. We are A-ok, except I am dreaming of the burger Dan and Jaci ate last night at the Rusty Duck. (Hey-non dieters, if you want a great place to eat, head to Dexter and visit the Rusty Duck, its PHENOMENAL.) I am not exaggerating at all when I say the burger was the size of one of my ass cheeks. It was gigantic. Dan and Jaci shared it and could not finish it all. It was cooked perfectly, dripping with cheese and bacon and ooey-gooey yumminess. I'll admit, I ate a BITE of the meat, no bun, no cheese, just burger. It was orgasmic. I nearly got a to go box, packed up my measly little lettuce salad and ate in the car.
Life wise, again I am annoyed. I must be easily annoyed. Or maybe there are just a lot of freaking morons out there with nothing to do but annoy the holy hell out of people.
Annoyance #1. Does anyone know the definition of the word editor? If you do, could you please share that definition with said editor at my workplace and ask him why the fuck he does not follow such definition? Here's my example: (Teacher people, or really, anyone who passed jr. high English, feel free to chime in on how this group of thoughts is so extremely fucked up, how you would fix it and how, pray tell, you can call yourself an editor and allow this to be printed) "Before this year started, Exira-EHK's senior forward wanted to prove many people wrong. She thought many people were not going to think much of the Spartans this year and Nelson and the Spartans wanted to show people that the Spartans are a team to be reckoned with." It makes my skin crawl just retyping it. I had to start over three times because my brain was not allowing me to type such drivel. First and foremost, Nelson who? And how many times can we say Spartan in one sentence? Try a pronoun asshat.
Annoyance #2. Our beloved company switched us from AFLAC to Colonial Life supplemental insurance. We are very accident prone people, I have an accident policy. It's supposedly cheaper, but gives back more money when you file a claim. Problem is, I filed a claim with my agent on Feb. 4. (actually 3 claims) I have no check yet, I tried checking on the status of my claim through the 800 number, and no such claim exists, and my agent won't call me back. Grrrr.....
Annoyance #3. The Royal Wedding. WHO GIVES A FLYING RATS ASS? Do we really need 10 minute updates EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY? Show me a wedding picture or two after the event, I may be mildly interested, but for now, I'm really getting tired of the, "Kate took a shit today and evidently she had corn," style updates that are all over the television. Seriously, enough already.
Annoyance #4. Please don't get me wrong, I love my childrens' school, I really do, but we wonder why some of our athletic programs are lacking, when there are no coaches who open the weight room in the mornings, every morning. Yes, I understand we are in between seasons, BUT weight lifting should be a year long thing, not just during the seasons. I have a son who gets me up every morning to go to school and lift and he has to hunt down the janitor to open the weight room so he and a few other 8th graders can lift. Yes, I know we have started a weight lifting class for juniors and seniors, but that's too late. It needs to be for freshmen and sophomores. If you don't have a weight training program in place by the time you are a senior, forget it.
Merely random thoughts...I cannot for the life of me fathom why little bro doesn't like the Caramel Nut bars, but does like the strawberry shakes. I guess it really does take all kinds.
Good for Hawaii that they passed a same sex marriage law. Bad for Iowa. If Iowa and Hawaii were two states in which I could marry my same sex sweetie, I'm doubting Iowa is my first choice for a destination wedding...I'm just saying...
Wisconsin passes a bill (forgive me if I mis-state this) eliminating or limiting collective bargaining. Is Iowa next? I personally am a little torn on this. I think many unionized professions perform very important jobs, jobs that I myself, would not want to do. (Namely teacher people) HOWEVER, I think some of the public unions have gotten out of control. I think its sad that a courthouse janitor can get paid for work done two months ago that he failed to write down on a time card, because the union says he needs to get paid for it. If I forget to write hours down on my time card two months ago, I am shit outta luck. I also think that when budgets are tight, guaranteed pay raises and 100% paid insurance should go out the window, but because the union says so, it stays. I do not get to negotiate pay raises, I get laughed at and told "be thankful you have a job," (well, not literally, but its implied.) I do not get to negotiate what my insurance costs. It is X amount, take it or leave it. I do not get cost of living increases. We get 22 cents a mile mileage, up from 19 cents a mile since gas prices have increased. I don't think its wholly fair that I have to scrimp and scratch and save to pay for my health insurance, only to watch my property taxes increase so unionized public officials can get their health insurance for free. I don't know what the correct answer is on this and I know I am generalizing a bit here, but the two unions that I see the most are raping this county and we don't even get a kiss out of the deal.
Dear NBC, if you EVER cancel Parenthood, I will NEVER watch you again. Parenthood is BY FAR the best show on network television now and is in fact the only network show I watch, other than the Today Show. I want to be a Braverman.
Okay, I think my brain is empty again. Whew...thank God. Thanks for listening stalker friends.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Recommitment
Serious re-commitment is what I'm trying to do. No, it's what I AM doing. Serious 100% ass kicking, no excuses, no wavering, no second guessing re-commitment. I am learning things that common sense has told me I should already know, but in writing some of these things down and looking at my own failures and short comings in black and white, it's like another A-HA moment.
I'm trying to picture myself at "optimal health" but I can honestly say that I don't know that I will ever see myself as one of those "I'm forever going to make the healthiest decisions." type of gals or that people will look at me and say, 'She is the picture of perfect health.' I don't know that I will ever be a "Throw away the bar-b-que nachos, they will make me sick and hand me a stalk of celery sprinkled with sea salt, you junk food heathens!" Type of person...perhaps I will be, I just don't see that, today.
I am trying to picture a happier, healthier, smaller assed me. The problem I have is that I still see the miserable, flabby six chinned me in the mirror, that's the part that needs fixing. That's what the focus is on.
I have also come to the conclusion that June 1 will be it. I will be in transition, or completely out of transition and in maintenance on June 1. That will be my one year anniversary. That will be it, no matter what the scale says. I have also decided that I would like the scale to read 40 pounds less than it does now. Okay 44 pounds...that would be 100 pounds lost in a year. Can I do it? Quite honestly it scares the living shit out of me. The reality is 44 pounds is 11 pounds per month. Very easy to do on this plan. The Devil's Advocate in me is saying, "If it were truly that easy, wouldn't you already be there?" I know its not easy but neither is child birth and I did that shit twice. I can do this shit twice, too.
The void seems to think he has the magical solution to jumping back into the program head first. More sex. Funny, that's his answer to everything. "Crisis in Lybia, you say? They obviously should change the name of their country to Labia and have more sex. Problem solved. Unions protesting against the possible elimination of collective bargaining? Hmm...they should just have a giant orgy, problem would be over." That's what would happen if he ran the world. When it comes to my weight loss issues, unfortunately it doesn't burn NEARLY enough calories for the amount of effort required.
So, here we are again, recommitting, again. Saying that's it again. This time, I think it's going to be different. It has to be. It WILL be. (Power of positive attitude and all that bullshit..)
I'm trying to picture myself at "optimal health" but I can honestly say that I don't know that I will ever see myself as one of those "I'm forever going to make the healthiest decisions." type of gals or that people will look at me and say, 'She is the picture of perfect health.' I don't know that I will ever be a "Throw away the bar-b-que nachos, they will make me sick and hand me a stalk of celery sprinkled with sea salt, you junk food heathens!" Type of person...perhaps I will be, I just don't see that, today.
I am trying to picture a happier, healthier, smaller assed me. The problem I have is that I still see the miserable, flabby six chinned me in the mirror, that's the part that needs fixing. That's what the focus is on.
I have also come to the conclusion that June 1 will be it. I will be in transition, or completely out of transition and in maintenance on June 1. That will be my one year anniversary. That will be it, no matter what the scale says. I have also decided that I would like the scale to read 40 pounds less than it does now. Okay 44 pounds...that would be 100 pounds lost in a year. Can I do it? Quite honestly it scares the living shit out of me. The reality is 44 pounds is 11 pounds per month. Very easy to do on this plan. The Devil's Advocate in me is saying, "If it were truly that easy, wouldn't you already be there?" I know its not easy but neither is child birth and I did that shit twice. I can do this shit twice, too.
The void seems to think he has the magical solution to jumping back into the program head first. More sex. Funny, that's his answer to everything. "Crisis in Lybia, you say? They obviously should change the name of their country to Labia and have more sex. Problem solved. Unions protesting against the possible elimination of collective bargaining? Hmm...they should just have a giant orgy, problem would be over." That's what would happen if he ran the world. When it comes to my weight loss issues, unfortunately it doesn't burn NEARLY enough calories for the amount of effort required.
So, here we are again, recommitting, again. Saying that's it again. This time, I think it's going to be different. It has to be. It WILL be. (Power of positive attitude and all that bullshit..)
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
I think I'm in love
with Dr. A and his Habits of Health. Well, at least after chapter 1. He told me what I've known now, for long time..."It's not my fault my ass is this size." There are a variety of reasons, beyond my control, which have lead to having the amount of junk that is in this trunk. Me thinks that chapters 2-10(?) will tell me what to do to combat these reasons that are beyond my control and I'm getting the feeling that a "Change is a coming." And that I may not enjoy parts of it. Alas, that's what we are here to do. No one said that Operation S.A. would be kittens and rainbows shooting out of my ass. (For those of you lost on who Dr. A is and what this is all about, it is my homework assigned to me by Coach K.)
Couch to 5K begins one week from today. I have officially declared March 1 the start day. It should be good. No, it WILL be good. Gotta have that positive attitude, right?
The void is driving me insane right now. He's had a very stressful week, with lots of work crap that I wouldn't want to deal with, and I understand that, BUT. I don't drink milk, SOOOO, I don't check the expiration date on it. I bought it Monday, the date on the jug is today, it smells fine, so drink the shit, or buy your own goddamned milk. I came home yesterday to find 98% of the bedding on our bed in a heap on the floor. Automatically, I know that the remote is missing. What are you, a two year old? Lets throw a fittie and throw everything in a pile because you actually have to get up and turn the television off. (P.S. the remote had fallen behind the bed, simple common sense would have told one this.) This morning, we throw another fittie screaming, "FUCK, OUCH," because we have tripped on a blanket lying on the floor. ITS A BLANKET NOT A BRICK! And it's a blanket which YOU have kicked off over night. Duh....These are the times in which I need a true home gym so I can go and do some intense weight lifting and grunt my frustrations out. Actually, I think I might buy a medicine ball and play a little catch so I can throw heavy shit at him.... and he wonders why I feel the need to drink...
Couch to 5K begins one week from today. I have officially declared March 1 the start day. It should be good. No, it WILL be good. Gotta have that positive attitude, right?
The void is driving me insane right now. He's had a very stressful week, with lots of work crap that I wouldn't want to deal with, and I understand that, BUT. I don't drink milk, SOOOO, I don't check the expiration date on it. I bought it Monday, the date on the jug is today, it smells fine, so drink the shit, or buy your own goddamned milk. I came home yesterday to find 98% of the bedding on our bed in a heap on the floor. Automatically, I know that the remote is missing. What are you, a two year old? Lets throw a fittie and throw everything in a pile because you actually have to get up and turn the television off. (P.S. the remote had fallen behind the bed, simple common sense would have told one this.) This morning, we throw another fittie screaming, "FUCK, OUCH," because we have tripped on a blanket lying on the floor. ITS A BLANKET NOT A BRICK! And it's a blanket which YOU have kicked off over night. Duh....These are the times in which I need a true home gym so I can go and do some intense weight lifting and grunt my frustrations out. Actually, I think I might buy a medicine ball and play a little catch so I can throw heavy shit at him.... and he wonders why I feel the need to drink...
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
BBQ nachos and fried pickles
Yes, these are two foods I nibbled on over the weekend. Do I know better? Yes. Should I have eaten them? No. Were they worth it? At the time, yes, now on the scale...no. But let me paint a picture for you. I will title it, "You've got to be fucking kidding me."
Drew's wrestling tournament on Sunday, Grade School and Junior High State. $39 to enter. (I believe I have already announced a "You've got to be fucking kidding me" on this one.) Luckily he made weight and we did not have to pay to $20 fee to change brackets. (Little bastard lost 9 pounds in 5 days. I love him, but I hate him.)
We get to the venue, which is Hy-Vee Hall. There are no seats in Hy-Vee Hall. (You've got to be fucking kidding me)
Admission for me to get into the meet $15. For Jaci $10. (You've got to be fucking kidding me)
3-4,000 people, seats that were wheeled in for people to "sit" in, maybe 500. (You've got to be fucking kidding me.)
Standing, yes standing for 6 1/2 hours to watch Drew wrestle 2 matches. (You've got to be fucking kidding me.)
Upon leaving, this cranky, (scratch that) bitchy, tired, sore from standing on concrete all day mama wants a freakin' beer. Where does hubby stop? Hooters. (You've got to be fucking kidding me)
I am not lying when I tell you our waitress' name is Basil. (You've got to...I think you can see where I'm headed here.)
I drank at least 6 beers, they were Select 55, so it was like technically only three. I did sample the friend pickles. I did also sample the BBQ nachos the kids had at Hy-Vee Hall. I was at a point of, I really don't care. I am tired, I am stressed out. I am bitchy, the last thing I want to eat is a plate of lettuce. The pickles were great, the beer was good. I ordered a grilled mahi sandwich, hold the bun with coleslaw for my meal, Spaghetti, our waitress. (Oh, wait, BASIL, yes, that was her name, my bad.) lost our ticket, so it took forever and three more beers for the rest of the food to arrive. Needless to say, it was not a stellar, on plan experience. I am happy to report that I did not gain any weight. I maintained. I will take that.
I start my homework this week with Coach, I am hoping I can learn a few ways to cope with the "I'm bitchy and really don't care" thing. However, I'm sure there will be days in my future where I say, fuck it and eat the pickles. It would just be nice to learn some "head tricks."
Little Bro and his wife started the plan this week. One meal into it, I get a phone call from him telling me, "I fucking hate you." His first meal..oatmeal. I told him to suck it up, it will get better. I have had four more phone calls from each of them. They are too funny. My brother is already a bitch, so I feel really bad for his students this week, cuz he will probably be at cuntasaurus rex level by tomorrow!
Drew's wrestling tournament on Sunday, Grade School and Junior High State. $39 to enter. (I believe I have already announced a "You've got to be fucking kidding me" on this one.) Luckily he made weight and we did not have to pay to $20 fee to change brackets. (Little bastard lost 9 pounds in 5 days. I love him, but I hate him.)
We get to the venue, which is Hy-Vee Hall. There are no seats in Hy-Vee Hall. (You've got to be fucking kidding me)
Admission for me to get into the meet $15. For Jaci $10. (You've got to be fucking kidding me)
3-4,000 people, seats that were wheeled in for people to "sit" in, maybe 500. (You've got to be fucking kidding me.)
Standing, yes standing for 6 1/2 hours to watch Drew wrestle 2 matches. (You've got to be fucking kidding me.)
Upon leaving, this cranky, (scratch that) bitchy, tired, sore from standing on concrete all day mama wants a freakin' beer. Where does hubby stop? Hooters. (You've got to be fucking kidding me)
I am not lying when I tell you our waitress' name is Basil. (You've got to...I think you can see where I'm headed here.)
I drank at least 6 beers, they were Select 55, so it was like technically only three. I did sample the friend pickles. I did also sample the BBQ nachos the kids had at Hy-Vee Hall. I was at a point of, I really don't care. I am tired, I am stressed out. I am bitchy, the last thing I want to eat is a plate of lettuce. The pickles were great, the beer was good. I ordered a grilled mahi sandwich, hold the bun with coleslaw for my meal, Spaghetti, our waitress. (Oh, wait, BASIL, yes, that was her name, my bad.) lost our ticket, so it took forever and three more beers for the rest of the food to arrive. Needless to say, it was not a stellar, on plan experience. I am happy to report that I did not gain any weight. I maintained. I will take that.
I start my homework this week with Coach, I am hoping I can learn a few ways to cope with the "I'm bitchy and really don't care" thing. However, I'm sure there will be days in my future where I say, fuck it and eat the pickles. It would just be nice to learn some "head tricks."
Little Bro and his wife started the plan this week. One meal into it, I get a phone call from him telling me, "I fucking hate you." His first meal..oatmeal. I told him to suck it up, it will get better. I have had four more phone calls from each of them. They are too funny. My brother is already a bitch, so I feel really bad for his students this week, cuz he will probably be at cuntasaurus rex level by tomorrow!
Friday, February 18, 2011
For F%#* sake
people...corn is not a vegetable, it is a starch. Last night was the third such event I have attended in the past month or two in which a buffet meal was served consisting of meat, cheesy potatoes and the "vegetable" was corn....Oh and don't forget the dinner roll. Thank God the void hates salad and I could eat his salad too.
I went for a run last night, okay, fine, a jog...down the road to the south was wonderful, heading back to the north, awful, as I was heading straight into the wind. It felt pretty good, though, and my thighs hurt a little this morning, so that is always a good sign. Someone tried talking me into running the 5K at Dam to Dam this year. She said that there are tons of people who run it, so it keeps you motivated to keep running and you are never the slowest...I beg to differ, she's never seen me run. I do however have a faster pace than someone else who shall remain nameless...I dunno, I'll debate that. Two 5K's may just be enough for me, we'll see.
I also had another random, "you've lost a ton of weight, girl" comment. It was followed by, 'what's your secret?" I was holding a can of Ultra that was swimming in it's koozie, so I said, "I drink beer out of skinnier cans." (Yes, drinking beer, yes we've had this conversation.) (Yes, I should have told him exactly what program I was doing, but I honestly think this was just one of those 'making conversation' comments and not one that was truly interested in the program. I've learned to decipher the difference.)
I'm going to get a few more random comments off of my chest today, as I feel the need to purge them, so bear with me....
The dumbass I work with, who technically doesn't work in my office anymore, but still stops by almost daily to annoy the fuck out of me, is REALLY annoying the fuck out of me this week. It's a good thing he doesn't stay here more than about 10 minutes because A) I would punch him in the face and B) My tongue would be hamburger, because I have been biting it so hard in an effort not to reply to his fucking retarded commentary.
There are some people in this world who truly need reality checks on how "unimportant" they are, compared to how "important" the THINK they are. Seriously, would it kill you to say hello when spoken to? Especially when you are addressed by name? I do know the family in which you grew up and it was not a monarchy, you are not royalty, by any means, so can the "bow down before me princess act," bitch.
Dear Mr./Mrs. elderly person who brings in a newspaper clipping from another newspaper or magazine. I'm sorry, but no, I cannot just re-print this. It's called plagiarism. I will try to contact who actually wrote it and ask their permission to reprint it, but I'm positive that I cannot just re-type a 6 page magazine article and call it good, just because you say please.
On the same lines, Dear Mary Alice, Kiss my ass....real estate transactions are a matter of public record. They are a bitch to decipher and try to retype and no I don't have time to do it very often. You just want to be nosy, so hike your happy ass up to the courthouse and look it up yourself, if you are dying to know who bought what. I am only allowed to work 40 hours budget cuts that the schools and county are facing, visits from the state secretary of agriculture, a soldier surprising her son at school are all a little more fucking important ways to spend my 40 hours versus figuring out what the Jones's paid for the house down the street.
There is a real down side to losing a large amount of weight. Shocking, but true. Yes, the new shirts, jeans, etc in smaller sizes are great, but all new underwear is not so fun. Why you might ask? Because the new, smaller underwear is all "cutesy" shit. I have no plain old, womens version of a whitey tighty in my drawer. There are some days where you just really want a plain old pair of skivvies to wear under your sweat pants. You know, the kind that won't crawl up your ass when you're trying to get the cobwebs off your ceiling fan. Or the kind that you don't have to look at each direction three or four times to decipher which is the front and which is the back. (I have enough trouble with that the way it is.) So sadly, one of the next things I need to buy myself is a pair of granny panties. (At least I can comfort myself with the fact that they will be a smaller size.)
I went for a run last night, okay, fine, a jog...down the road to the south was wonderful, heading back to the north, awful, as I was heading straight into the wind. It felt pretty good, though, and my thighs hurt a little this morning, so that is always a good sign. Someone tried talking me into running the 5K at Dam to Dam this year. She said that there are tons of people who run it, so it keeps you motivated to keep running and you are never the slowest...I beg to differ, she's never seen me run. I do however have a faster pace than someone else who shall remain nameless...I dunno, I'll debate that. Two 5K's may just be enough for me, we'll see.
I also had another random, "you've lost a ton of weight, girl" comment. It was followed by, 'what's your secret?" I was holding a can of Ultra that was swimming in it's koozie, so I said, "I drink beer out of skinnier cans." (Yes, drinking beer, yes we've had this conversation.) (Yes, I should have told him exactly what program I was doing, but I honestly think this was just one of those 'making conversation' comments and not one that was truly interested in the program. I've learned to decipher the difference.)
I'm going to get a few more random comments off of my chest today, as I feel the need to purge them, so bear with me....
The dumbass I work with, who technically doesn't work in my office anymore, but still stops by almost daily to annoy the fuck out of me, is REALLY annoying the fuck out of me this week. It's a good thing he doesn't stay here more than about 10 minutes because A) I would punch him in the face and B) My tongue would be hamburger, because I have been biting it so hard in an effort not to reply to his fucking retarded commentary.
There are some people in this world who truly need reality checks on how "unimportant" they are, compared to how "important" the THINK they are. Seriously, would it kill you to say hello when spoken to? Especially when you are addressed by name? I do know the family in which you grew up and it was not a monarchy, you are not royalty, by any means, so can the "bow down before me princess act," bitch.
Dear Mr./Mrs. elderly person who brings in a newspaper clipping from another newspaper or magazine. I'm sorry, but no, I cannot just re-print this. It's called plagiarism. I will try to contact who actually wrote it and ask their permission to reprint it, but I'm positive that I cannot just re-type a 6 page magazine article and call it good, just because you say please.
On the same lines, Dear Mary Alice, Kiss my ass....real estate transactions are a matter of public record. They are a bitch to decipher and try to retype and no I don't have time to do it very often. You just want to be nosy, so hike your happy ass up to the courthouse and look it up yourself, if you are dying to know who bought what. I am only allowed to work 40 hours budget cuts that the schools and county are facing, visits from the state secretary of agriculture, a soldier surprising her son at school are all a little more fucking important ways to spend my 40 hours versus figuring out what the Jones's paid for the house down the street.
There is a real down side to losing a large amount of weight. Shocking, but true. Yes, the new shirts, jeans, etc in smaller sizes are great, but all new underwear is not so fun. Why you might ask? Because the new, smaller underwear is all "cutesy" shit. I have no plain old, womens version of a whitey tighty in my drawer. There are some days where you just really want a plain old pair of skivvies to wear under your sweat pants. You know, the kind that won't crawl up your ass when you're trying to get the cobwebs off your ceiling fan. Or the kind that you don't have to look at each direction three or four times to decipher which is the front and which is the back. (I have enough trouble with that the way it is.) So sadly, one of the next things I need to buy myself is a pair of granny panties. (At least I can comfort myself with the fact that they will be a smaller size.)
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Double post day
Yes, it is a double post day because I am TRAPPED inside my office on this beautiful day and am trying to keep busy.
Not that I want you stalker friends reading other blogs, because I'm selfish and insecure and need you all to adore me, BUT bleautifulnewme.blogspot is great for those of us on Coach K's plan. You will find an ASS load of recipes on there.
HOLY Bat shit Batman, I just found out that WF has alfredo sauce. I am thinking of shirataki noodles, a little grilled chicken, some broccoli and WF alfredo and this will be one happy girl...
Also, the blog I found had a fantastic looking breakfast sandwich that I am DYING to try, I will report on that once I get to the city and get some MF sausage patties.
Another thing the blog suggested that I had never thought of, substitute your WF pancake syrup for the water when you're making your pancakes or pancake muffins, less mess with all the flavor, making them much more portable, which is a must for me when I typically eat breakfast on the run. (Actually, on the drive, in my van).
The big news of the day is a wrestler from Linn-Marr defaulting his opening round match at the HS wrestling tourney because of "religious reasons". (He was supposed to wrestle a girl.) Here's what I think. 1) In all of my years of Bible School/Sunday School/Catechism/church attendance/church council doin's, I have never heard "Thou Shalt not wrestle a girl." 2) I don't blame the kid for not wanting to wrestle a girl, it's one thing to be 6 and lose to a girl at a pee-wee tourney, because said girl has three older brothers and is tougher than whale snot. It's something quite different to lose to a girl at the HIGH SCHOOL STATE MEET. (Not saying that he would lose, chances are he'd wipe her ass, but still...nothing is certain on a wrestling mat, that's why they wrestle and don't just award medals based on rankings) 3) As a mother of a wrestler and also having a daughter. GIRLS SHOULDN'T WRESTLE! Yes, those of us with vaginas should be allowed to do the same things those with manginas do, but just because we have the RIGHT to, doesn't mean we should. I have watched countless wrestling matches since Drew started the sport in 1st grade. A large majority of the moves require a large number of crotch grabs. 4) If we, as a society insist on letting girls wrestle in high school, by all means, there should be boys allowed on the volleyball team.
One more hour, then I will be escaping and going for a run....never thought I would utter the words "I Can't Wait," in conjunction with that phrase.
Not that I want you stalker friends reading other blogs, because I'm selfish and insecure and need you all to adore me, BUT bleautifulnewme.blogspot is great for those of us on Coach K's plan. You will find an ASS load of recipes on there.
HOLY Bat shit Batman, I just found out that WF has alfredo sauce. I am thinking of shirataki noodles, a little grilled chicken, some broccoli and WF alfredo and this will be one happy girl...
Also, the blog I found had a fantastic looking breakfast sandwich that I am DYING to try, I will report on that once I get to the city and get some MF sausage patties.
Another thing the blog suggested that I had never thought of, substitute your WF pancake syrup for the water when you're making your pancakes or pancake muffins, less mess with all the flavor, making them much more portable, which is a must for me when I typically eat breakfast on the run. (Actually, on the drive, in my van).
The big news of the day is a wrestler from Linn-Marr defaulting his opening round match at the HS wrestling tourney because of "religious reasons". (He was supposed to wrestle a girl.) Here's what I think. 1) In all of my years of Bible School/Sunday School/Catechism/church attendance/church council doin's, I have never heard "Thou Shalt not wrestle a girl." 2) I don't blame the kid for not wanting to wrestle a girl, it's one thing to be 6 and lose to a girl at a pee-wee tourney, because said girl has three older brothers and is tougher than whale snot. It's something quite different to lose to a girl at the HIGH SCHOOL STATE MEET. (Not saying that he would lose, chances are he'd wipe her ass, but still...nothing is certain on a wrestling mat, that's why they wrestle and don't just award medals based on rankings) 3) As a mother of a wrestler and also having a daughter. GIRLS SHOULDN'T WRESTLE! Yes, those of us with vaginas should be allowed to do the same things those with manginas do, but just because we have the RIGHT to, doesn't mean we should. I have watched countless wrestling matches since Drew started the sport in 1st grade. A large majority of the moves require a large number of crotch grabs. 4) If we, as a society insist on letting girls wrestle in high school, by all means, there should be boys allowed on the volleyball team.
One more hour, then I will be escaping and going for a run....never thought I would utter the words "I Can't Wait," in conjunction with that phrase.
See? I told you
I am not a numbers person. After debating my 12-18 mph and getting a calculator out... (I had to borrow one from the kids) I determined one of two things. I have super human speed, or my speedometer on my ellipitcal doesn't work for shit. I'm going with option number two. 12 mph, ok, that might be perceivable, but 18? Good lord, that's like Olympic speeds and that sure as shit, ain't me. So, I have decided that I will never again look at the little digital rotating numbers on my screen, as I don't even trust that it can tell time correctly. I will put my i pod back on, do my set program of 8-10 songs and be happy.
This morning, oh what a morning. Drew wanted up so he could go run outside. He was going to run to the highway and back, roughly two miles, pretty hilly terrain. I woke him up at 6, went back to bed. Should I have worked out? You're damned right. But, alas, I did not. Here's why...I am positive I cannot do hills yet. It was dark. I was tired. AND I plan to run out side, heading the opposite direction Drew went this morning, very little incline, when I get off work tonight. In the daylight.
I should stress that me working out in the morning, is nothing short of miraculous, as I am not a morning person. As in, if I could sleep til 11 every day, I would, happily.
While good things happen when i wake up in the morning and exercise. (Its done and out of the way. I feel good. I have a lot of energy. I get to work earlier.) There are drawbacks to my ass being upright and mobile before 7 a.m. namely: more often than not I get off the elliptical one eye still shut and exhausted, therefore when I stumble out of the shower and try to tip toe into the closet without waking anyone else up, I end up putting my underwear on inside out, backwards, or both. OR, I put on socks that don't match. (which some days I do anyway because, hey they are 2 socks, they are clean, they are going into my boots and no one will see them, so who gives a shit....I despise folding socks) Or yesterday, I put my underwear on backwards and i grabbed two different colored earrings. One gold hoop, one silver. Yep, that's me...
Again I would like to stress how sublimely unfair it is to have someone in the house with a 14 year old boy's metabolism. He's down to 131 this morning. I, being perfectly on plan am up 3 pounds. Being a girl SUCKS! (I forgot yesterday, that I did lose another 2 pounds last weigh in). He has 2 more pounds to lose by Saturday at 2 p.m. Technically only one, but he wants to leave the house Saturday morning weighing roughly 128.5 in case there is some scale differential. I would give my left ovary to weigh 128.5. Actually, I take that back, I wouldn't, as if i weighed that, people would start planning a benefit for me and wondering what was ailing me.
I am very intrigued by the TreadClimber, advertised on tv. I can't switch channels when that commercial comes on. I want one in the worst way. I would imagine, however, it costs roughly the same amount of dollars that it would cost to side my house and siding will win out.
My husband and daughter thought I was trying to kill them last night as the dinner menu featured grilled fish and broccoli. I thought I was being pretty damned nice serving theirs with tartar sauce. The void actually said that it wasn't so bad and we should have more meals like that. My daughter, on the other hand, fought me tooth and nail and ending up spitting out the last few bites. I made her a deal, next time, she could have a little cheese on her broccoli or she could have a salad. I think I might just fix fish and broccoli for supper again tonight! LOL!
This morning, oh what a morning. Drew wanted up so he could go run outside. He was going to run to the highway and back, roughly two miles, pretty hilly terrain. I woke him up at 6, went back to bed. Should I have worked out? You're damned right. But, alas, I did not. Here's why...I am positive I cannot do hills yet. It was dark. I was tired. AND I plan to run out side, heading the opposite direction Drew went this morning, very little incline, when I get off work tonight. In the daylight.
I should stress that me working out in the morning, is nothing short of miraculous, as I am not a morning person. As in, if I could sleep til 11 every day, I would, happily.
While good things happen when i wake up in the morning and exercise. (Its done and out of the way. I feel good. I have a lot of energy. I get to work earlier.) There are drawbacks to my ass being upright and mobile before 7 a.m. namely: more often than not I get off the elliptical one eye still shut and exhausted, therefore when I stumble out of the shower and try to tip toe into the closet without waking anyone else up, I end up putting my underwear on inside out, backwards, or both. OR, I put on socks that don't match. (which some days I do anyway because, hey they are 2 socks, they are clean, they are going into my boots and no one will see them, so who gives a shit....I despise folding socks) Or yesterday, I put my underwear on backwards and i grabbed two different colored earrings. One gold hoop, one silver. Yep, that's me...
Again I would like to stress how sublimely unfair it is to have someone in the house with a 14 year old boy's metabolism. He's down to 131 this morning. I, being perfectly on plan am up 3 pounds. Being a girl SUCKS! (I forgot yesterday, that I did lose another 2 pounds last weigh in). He has 2 more pounds to lose by Saturday at 2 p.m. Technically only one, but he wants to leave the house Saturday morning weighing roughly 128.5 in case there is some scale differential. I would give my left ovary to weigh 128.5. Actually, I take that back, I wouldn't, as if i weighed that, people would start planning a benefit for me and wondering what was ailing me.
I am very intrigued by the TreadClimber, advertised on tv. I can't switch channels when that commercial comes on. I want one in the worst way. I would imagine, however, it costs roughly the same amount of dollars that it would cost to side my house and siding will win out.
My husband and daughter thought I was trying to kill them last night as the dinner menu featured grilled fish and broccoli. I thought I was being pretty damned nice serving theirs with tartar sauce. The void actually said that it wasn't so bad and we should have more meals like that. My daughter, on the other hand, fought me tooth and nail and ending up spitting out the last few bites. I made her a deal, next time, she could have a little cheese on her broccoli or she could have a salad. I think I might just fix fish and broccoli for supper again tonight! LOL!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Yikes!
Two whole weekdays without talking to you stalker friends! You've been waiting on pins and needles for me haven't you? (I'll try not to delude myself into thinking your worlds revolve around my little postings. Secretly, I know they do, it's okay, we'll keep it a secret.)
So, we have whole family on programness this week. Well, sort of, as on plan as a few of my family members can get. Drew is wrestling at State Junior High this weekend. He informed me of this on Saturday. Registration was due, on line, on Sunday. In our hungover haze, we donned our sexiest sweatpants and headed into FS (no internet at home, spoiled with unlimited high speed access at the office, can't bring myself to pay for it at home) we signed him up. Longest, most detailed registration form, I have seen and it cost $39. (Hopefully, there is a t-shirt that comes with it and it better be one fucking fantastic t-shirt) Anywho...the weight classes were divided into five pound increments, until the 130 mark, then it jumps to 10 pound. So we called Drew to ask what he weighed, he said, 133, so we registered him at 130. The common sense in me figured, anyone under 135 wrestled 130, anyone over wrestled 140. I had the opportunity to read the fine print on Monday. If you are even a 10th of a pound over, you wrestle up in the next weight bracket AND they assess you a $20 penalty. SOOOO, we are cutting weight. I figured 3 pounds, no biggie. Drew got home from his weekend with my folks at the Beef Expo (which means loads of junk food) he stepped on the scale weighing 137. He's down to 132.6 today. We're doing 2 a day work outs, plus practices and we've cut out all carbs for him, which means no carbs for Dan or Jaci either. (other than the cookies I baked for him for valentines day, which he has kept out of eyesight/reach of the kids)
The two a day work outs consist of me getting up at 6 hitting the elliptical, waking him up when my 1/2 hr is done and then he goes for a half hr, twice a day, plus, he runs from the high school to my office after school. Plus, jump roping, etc.
Monday night, upon discovering his 137 pounds, he went down and hopped on the elliptical for a half an hour. I woke up Tuesday morning to do my little work out. I thought I was going to die. I knew the tequila and I had been a little too friendly Saturday night. And the two cigarettes (yeah, yeah, yeah, I KNOW, save it) I shared with Squeaky Pete were not smart, but certainly, I haven't fallen THIS far out of shape in a matter of 4 or 5 days. I shit you not, I made it 16 minutes. (granted I did do 3 1/2 minutes of it at 19 mph) I literally fell off the elliptical in a huffing and puffing, dizzy heap and have never been so grateful for the cold concrete floors in the mancave. Struggling to walk and speak, I woke the kids up so Drew could do his work out.
Amazingly, I repeated the effort this morning. Again, made it only 15 minutes. (I did look and I was averaging between 12 and 18 mph) So, at a bare minimum, I went a mile and a half.) I then got out my resistance bands and did some work with those. FINALLY, it dawned on me...Drew cranks up the resistance on the elliptical, to, like, maximum levels. Why did I not think to look at that sooner? Oh well, the good news, and of course, I realize that mileage on an elliptical is different than mileage jogging on a road course: even at warm up and cool down stage, I am doing 12 miles per hour. That means, a 10 minute mile is certainly not out of reach if I take my training seriously. (At least I think...I'm not a numbers person here, hence the non-number career path.)
Anyway...that's the shiznit for now....but for shit's sake, would someone remind me to turn the resistance down tomorrow morning! :)
So, we have whole family on programness this week. Well, sort of, as on plan as a few of my family members can get. Drew is wrestling at State Junior High this weekend. He informed me of this on Saturday. Registration was due, on line, on Sunday. In our hungover haze, we donned our sexiest sweatpants and headed into FS (no internet at home, spoiled with unlimited high speed access at the office, can't bring myself to pay for it at home) we signed him up. Longest, most detailed registration form, I have seen and it cost $39. (Hopefully, there is a t-shirt that comes with it and it better be one fucking fantastic t-shirt) Anywho...the weight classes were divided into five pound increments, until the 130 mark, then it jumps to 10 pound. So we called Drew to ask what he weighed, he said, 133, so we registered him at 130. The common sense in me figured, anyone under 135 wrestled 130, anyone over wrestled 140. I had the opportunity to read the fine print on Monday. If you are even a 10th of a pound over, you wrestle up in the next weight bracket AND they assess you a $20 penalty. SOOOO, we are cutting weight. I figured 3 pounds, no biggie. Drew got home from his weekend with my folks at the Beef Expo (which means loads of junk food) he stepped on the scale weighing 137. He's down to 132.6 today. We're doing 2 a day work outs, plus practices and we've cut out all carbs for him, which means no carbs for Dan or Jaci either. (other than the cookies I baked for him for valentines day, which he has kept out of eyesight/reach of the kids)
The two a day work outs consist of me getting up at 6 hitting the elliptical, waking him up when my 1/2 hr is done and then he goes for a half hr, twice a day, plus, he runs from the high school to my office after school. Plus, jump roping, etc.
Monday night, upon discovering his 137 pounds, he went down and hopped on the elliptical for a half an hour. I woke up Tuesday morning to do my little work out. I thought I was going to die. I knew the tequila and I had been a little too friendly Saturday night. And the two cigarettes (yeah, yeah, yeah, I KNOW, save it) I shared with Squeaky Pete were not smart, but certainly, I haven't fallen THIS far out of shape in a matter of 4 or 5 days. I shit you not, I made it 16 minutes. (granted I did do 3 1/2 minutes of it at 19 mph) I literally fell off the elliptical in a huffing and puffing, dizzy heap and have never been so grateful for the cold concrete floors in the mancave. Struggling to walk and speak, I woke the kids up so Drew could do his work out.
Amazingly, I repeated the effort this morning. Again, made it only 15 minutes. (I did look and I was averaging between 12 and 18 mph) So, at a bare minimum, I went a mile and a half.) I then got out my resistance bands and did some work with those. FINALLY, it dawned on me...Drew cranks up the resistance on the elliptical, to, like, maximum levels. Why did I not think to look at that sooner? Oh well, the good news, and of course, I realize that mileage on an elliptical is different than mileage jogging on a road course: even at warm up and cool down stage, I am doing 12 miles per hour. That means, a 10 minute mile is certainly not out of reach if I take my training seriously. (At least I think...I'm not a numbers person here, hence the non-number career path.)
Anyway...that's the shiznit for now....but for shit's sake, would someone remind me to turn the resistance down tomorrow morning! :)
Friday, February 11, 2011
Not
much to say today, but need to get in the habit of talking to you all as often as I can.
I wore my skinny jeans today, saw several people I haven't seen in a while (like a few years). They called me a skinny bitch. I loved it.
Saw my ex boss today, he's still scared of me. I loved it.
Got sucked into the fresh bread aisle at Hy-Vee today. I loved it. I truly do miss bread. I miss the ease of a sandwich when I'm in a hurry and don't have time to throw a meal together. (Yes, I know, cut up the vegetables, make a big bowl of salad. Yada yada yada. Salad tastes better when someone else makes it. Its scientifically proven.) I only bought a bag of rolls...for the party tomorrow. (Yes, I added more food to the party, I am making shredded beef and bought dollar buns for sandwiches. I figured I'd catch hell from the "brother from another mother" if there was no beef on my menu.)
I bought $85 worth of beer today. Should be a good party! (With my set of friends, something tells me, it still won't be enough.)
I dearly love Powerade Zero, I wish it came in a keg, then I could get one of those keg fridges and put it in there and I would be one happy, skinny bitch.
This happy, skinny bitch is leaving the building, have a great weekend!
I wore my skinny jeans today, saw several people I haven't seen in a while (like a few years). They called me a skinny bitch. I loved it.
Saw my ex boss today, he's still scared of me. I loved it.
Got sucked into the fresh bread aisle at Hy-Vee today. I loved it. I truly do miss bread. I miss the ease of a sandwich when I'm in a hurry and don't have time to throw a meal together. (Yes, I know, cut up the vegetables, make a big bowl of salad. Yada yada yada. Salad tastes better when someone else makes it. Its scientifically proven.) I only bought a bag of rolls...for the party tomorrow. (Yes, I added more food to the party, I am making shredded beef and bought dollar buns for sandwiches. I figured I'd catch hell from the "brother from another mother" if there was no beef on my menu.)
I bought $85 worth of beer today. Should be a good party! (With my set of friends, something tells me, it still won't be enough.)
I dearly love Powerade Zero, I wish it came in a keg, then I could get one of those keg fridges and put it in there and I would be one happy, skinny bitch.
This happy, skinny bitch is leaving the building, have a great weekend!
Thursday, February 10, 2011
I give up
on Lynn and Escape from Obesity. (Had you worried there for a milisecond, didn't I Coach K?) When I first stumbled across her blog and she quasi inspired me to start blogging, she had some amazing posts and insight and I was thinking, 'Wow' this chick is right on! Now, I just think she's a fucking wackadoo nutcase. It's not to say I don't sort of relate to her once in a while, in the, "Well, since you went ahead and had that bite of chocolate you may as well eat the whole piece, and while you're at it, that slice of pizza, a bologna sandwich and a bag a chips," sort of feeling. I just don't get her "OH MY GOD LAST night I had a salt binge." OH MY GOD, last night, I ate an entire wheel of cheese. (I'm not even mad, I'm actually impressed!...sorry, I couldn't help but throw the Anchorman reference in there.) She's one who SERIOUSLY needs to shit or get off the pot. Yes, we struggle, we ALL struggle. We battle with our inner demons and our thoughts of things we should and shouldn't eat/do, but MY GOD, this woman needs some serious help, and more than what she gets from blogging, so I have removed her from my favorites and have replaced her with Running on Empty Carbs, also a blog spot blog, recommended by Jen M. This chick is uber funny. She and I could have a serious battle amongst our inner monologues, because she says some shit, even I can't put into words. Check her out. Hilarious.
I mentioned should and shouldn't do earlier. I am like the queen of knowing what I should and shouldn't do, or should and shouldn't have done. If only I could turn that hindsight into action, I might, by now have been able to conquer the world. For instance. I know I SHOULD have gone to class a little more often and skipped the beer parties or watching Young and the Restless and Days of our Lives, and if I had I'd have graduated from college, but alas, that didn't happen. (Side note: For those of you who are true stalker friends, you should know I bleed cardinal and gold and it dismays me more than a little that Thumb Boy has a degree from my beloved State, yet I couldn't manage to do it.) Another side note: I did have a few roadblocks that did not allow me to continue my studies, both of them have the initials DJC. Does all of that mean I regret the way my life has turned out? Oh hell no, I just am give an example of the things I SHOULD know.
I SHOULD be able to just drop what I am doing in the evenings. (Put the DVR on to record the Ghost Adventures marathon) and be able to go work out. I SHOULD be able to avoid, at all costs, the bread and potato chip aisle at the grocery store. I SHOULD be able to fit into those Hollister jeans I purposely bought on clearance too small. I SHOULD be able to floss every day. Are you getting where I am going with this? Just because I SHOULD, doesn't always mean I do. I try, but I don't always do. It's something that I hope to work on, its just that I've never been particularly good with goals. To me, strict goals sometimes just highlight the enormousness of my failings. So while I am not setting any hard and fast GOALS, right now, I am working on things I SHOULD do to go in the direction I want to go.
I WANT to run a 10 minute mile in the 5K's I am going to be in this summer. Is it a true goal. Hell no, the goal is to not pop a lung or break a hip. But that 10 minute mark is something to work towards. I WANT to be a size 10. Is that a hard and fast goal? UMMMM...no not really. I will be quite content in a solid, nearly every pair of jeans I have is an 11. Again, it's something to work towards. I just know that I don't want to be any bigger than 11/12 because that's too close to letting myself 'ease' back into the fat girl section. SO, in order to get to these things I want to work towards, I SHOULD stay on plan and do my best everyday to not let myself down. That's what I SHOULD do.
I mentioned should and shouldn't do earlier. I am like the queen of knowing what I should and shouldn't do, or should and shouldn't have done. If only I could turn that hindsight into action, I might, by now have been able to conquer the world. For instance. I know I SHOULD have gone to class a little more often and skipped the beer parties or watching Young and the Restless and Days of our Lives, and if I had I'd have graduated from college, but alas, that didn't happen. (Side note: For those of you who are true stalker friends, you should know I bleed cardinal and gold and it dismays me more than a little that Thumb Boy has a degree from my beloved State, yet I couldn't manage to do it.) Another side note: I did have a few roadblocks that did not allow me to continue my studies, both of them have the initials DJC. Does all of that mean I regret the way my life has turned out? Oh hell no, I just am give an example of the things I SHOULD know.
I SHOULD be able to just drop what I am doing in the evenings. (Put the DVR on to record the Ghost Adventures marathon) and be able to go work out. I SHOULD be able to avoid, at all costs, the bread and potato chip aisle at the grocery store. I SHOULD be able to fit into those Hollister jeans I purposely bought on clearance too small. I SHOULD be able to floss every day. Are you getting where I am going with this? Just because I SHOULD, doesn't always mean I do. I try, but I don't always do. It's something that I hope to work on, its just that I've never been particularly good with goals. To me, strict goals sometimes just highlight the enormousness of my failings. So while I am not setting any hard and fast GOALS, right now, I am working on things I SHOULD do to go in the direction I want to go.
I WANT to run a 10 minute mile in the 5K's I am going to be in this summer. Is it a true goal. Hell no, the goal is to not pop a lung or break a hip. But that 10 minute mark is something to work towards. I WANT to be a size 10. Is that a hard and fast goal? UMMMM...no not really. I will be quite content in a solid, nearly every pair of jeans I have is an 11. Again, it's something to work towards. I just know that I don't want to be any bigger than 11/12 because that's too close to letting myself 'ease' back into the fat girl section. SO, in order to get to these things I want to work towards, I SHOULD stay on plan and do my best everyday to not let myself down. That's what I SHOULD do.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Tequila!
I can't believe i forgot to mention tequila. I will also have a bottle of smuggled from Mexico tequila that will need to be consumed at my next adult beverage laden gathering. And if the void has anything to say about it, I'm sure Mr. Rumplemintz will also be invited. (Not that this matters to many of you, and not that I will be consuming the majority of this, I'm using this as a 'Hey don't forget to buy all of this shit' reminder for myself. You know, if you write it down you are less likely to forget it.)
Today will be a post full of randomness...
I swear to Christ I am one of the few weight loss bloggers that does not have a myriad of health issues, as in, go to the doctor every other day, switch doctors three times in the last three months because I'm not getting diagnosed with anything type people. (Here's a hint sweetpea, visit a fucking shrink...your problems need a mental health physician, not a general practitioner.) While I feel for people who don't, well, feel good, I have little patience for hearing about their ongoing medical crisis, especially when they want to lament about it incessantly for weeks on end.
Wow...I have used a lot of big words in my last two blogs. Felonious, lament, incessantly. (Yes, there will be a vocabulary quiz later.)
So, we had family trip to the dentist this morning...LOOK AT THAT! It's a step in the right direction towards this whole optimal health thing, right? I even scheduled all of us for another check up in six months! It had been a scarily long time since I had been to the dentist. It's not that I'm "afraid" of the dentist, it's just that I have flashbacks of being a child going to see Dr. Fischer and having his catcher's mitt sized hands coming at my tiny little mouth. (Okay, fine, you win, my mouth was never tiny, but my God that man had enormous hands.) Jaci, no cavities, Drew, no cavities, me, no cavities, we were on a roll till the void had to ruin our streak...poor baby has to get a filling on Monday. (And to think he's the one that packs the rest of our asses about not brushing "well enough." Take that.....)
I did have wine last night several glasses. I also had shrimp that was supposed to be grilled, it was most likely nuked and then left on the plate for oh, I don't know 18 minutes before serving. With it I had a Greek salad. Holy bad breath after the Feta cheese and Greek dressing on that bad boy. My apologies Dr. Schulz if the crest and listerine didn't take care of that. I consider it a small victory that i ate that while sitting next to a ginormous bowl of fettuccine with garlic bread...two of my very favorite things...I even managed not to drool on Michelle. At least I think I didn't.
Holy fucknuts, it's been cold...wowza, spring cannot get here soon enough.
Not that I want to make excuses for myself, but seeing as how I only have an elliptical and not a treadmill at my house, I need to join the health center so I can begin to train for my not, one, but TWO 5k runs I have said I will do this summer. My quasi-excuse...I cannot join the gym until after wrestling season, there is just no time. Life is too hectic to commit to "gym work" outside of the home until wrestling season is over. The plus side..wrestling season will be over soon. The junior high season ends Feb. 24, AAU will continue, through March, but there will not be evening meeting associated with that. SO, my plan, join gym March 1, begin Couch to 5K program at that time. If anyone would care to join me, feel free, the more the merrier.
I really need to plan better. Mornings at my house are nothing short of chaotic. It usually involves me trying to manage Jaci's 'fro' while putting on mascara and brushing my teeth while Drew throws some toaster strudle in the toaster so they can eat it in the car on the way to school, so I'm not known as "one of those moms" who doesn't feed their kids before throwing them out the door. This morning, was no different, as we got ready to go to the dentist. As I'm hurrying out the door, I forgot to grab any of my "food." I really didn't want to eat after my teeth cleaning and polishing, but I knew I needed to, so alas, breakfast this morning was a bag of semi crushed honey mustard pretzels that had been floating in the bottom of my purse for some time. Snack will be tomato soup that was in my desk drawer. I'm leaving today at 2, so I am hoping I can hold out until then....
Today will be a post full of randomness...
I swear to Christ I am one of the few weight loss bloggers that does not have a myriad of health issues, as in, go to the doctor every other day, switch doctors three times in the last three months because I'm not getting diagnosed with anything type people. (Here's a hint sweetpea, visit a fucking shrink...your problems need a mental health physician, not a general practitioner.) While I feel for people who don't, well, feel good, I have little patience for hearing about their ongoing medical crisis, especially when they want to lament about it incessantly for weeks on end.
Wow...I have used a lot of big words in my last two blogs. Felonious, lament, incessantly. (Yes, there will be a vocabulary quiz later.)
So, we had family trip to the dentist this morning...LOOK AT THAT! It's a step in the right direction towards this whole optimal health thing, right? I even scheduled all of us for another check up in six months! It had been a scarily long time since I had been to the dentist. It's not that I'm "afraid" of the dentist, it's just that I have flashbacks of being a child going to see Dr. Fischer and having his catcher's mitt sized hands coming at my tiny little mouth. (Okay, fine, you win, my mouth was never tiny, but my God that man had enormous hands.) Jaci, no cavities, Drew, no cavities, me, no cavities, we were on a roll till the void had to ruin our streak...poor baby has to get a filling on Monday. (And to think he's the one that packs the rest of our asses about not brushing "well enough." Take that.....)
I did have wine last night several glasses. I also had shrimp that was supposed to be grilled, it was most likely nuked and then left on the plate for oh, I don't know 18 minutes before serving. With it I had a Greek salad. Holy bad breath after the Feta cheese and Greek dressing on that bad boy. My apologies Dr. Schulz if the crest and listerine didn't take care of that. I consider it a small victory that i ate that while sitting next to a ginormous bowl of fettuccine with garlic bread...two of my very favorite things...I even managed not to drool on Michelle. At least I think I didn't.
Holy fucknuts, it's been cold...wowza, spring cannot get here soon enough.
Not that I want to make excuses for myself, but seeing as how I only have an elliptical and not a treadmill at my house, I need to join the health center so I can begin to train for my not, one, but TWO 5k runs I have said I will do this summer. My quasi-excuse...I cannot join the gym until after wrestling season, there is just no time. Life is too hectic to commit to "gym work" outside of the home until wrestling season is over. The plus side..wrestling season will be over soon. The junior high season ends Feb. 24, AAU will continue, through March, but there will not be evening meeting associated with that. SO, my plan, join gym March 1, begin Couch to 5K program at that time. If anyone would care to join me, feel free, the more the merrier.
I really need to plan better. Mornings at my house are nothing short of chaotic. It usually involves me trying to manage Jaci's 'fro' while putting on mascara and brushing my teeth while Drew throws some toaster strudle in the toaster so they can eat it in the car on the way to school, so I'm not known as "one of those moms" who doesn't feed their kids before throwing them out the door. This morning, was no different, as we got ready to go to the dentist. As I'm hurrying out the door, I forgot to grab any of my "food." I really didn't want to eat after my teeth cleaning and polishing, but I knew I needed to, so alas, breakfast this morning was a bag of semi crushed honey mustard pretzels that had been floating in the bottom of my purse for some time. Snack will be tomato soup that was in my desk drawer. I'm leaving today at 2, so I am hoping I can hold out until then....
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Survivor
Did you survive Superbowl Sunday? Did you even acknowledge it's passing? Some people aren't into the Superbowl, and that's fine, I myself, look forward to any excuse to throw back a beer or two with friends. Oh, it's Tuesday, you say? Perfect time for a beer! Your cousin's boyfriend's nephew just got circumcised? Congrats, let's celebrate!--It's just how I roll. And roll I did. Yes, that was me you saw drinking a pina colada at Molly's on Sunday, guilty as charged. I cannot let coconut and pineapple flavored goodness pass me by when it has alcohol in it, especially when there is shopping involved and when it is free. Sorry, again, that's just how I roll.
I did NOT however, allow for my pina colada episode to completely derail my efforts. I was 100% on plan food wise. I did also switch from pina colada heaven to Select when we went to watch the Superbowl later that evening. Yes, I know, beer is not allowed on plan. Hello? Have you met me? Are you an approved Stalker Friend? If so you should know I do not follow rules well and I won't completely give up my beer. Is it hindering me getting to my goal sooner? Probably, but that is a decision I have made and one I have lived with and as long as I am not standing in my underwear in my kitchen following a night of boozing it up, eating a bag of Totino's pizza rolls while taking Hidden Valley ranch shooters, I'll be fine. (If that day comes, Coach K and Coach K Squared, have my full permission to beat me, commit me, whatever they need to do to pry the ranch dressing an pizza rolls out of my drunken cold hands.)
As I said in a previous post, I do not let a night of adult beverage enhanced indulgence give license to eat whatever the hell I want. Did I spend an inordinate amount of time in front of Carol's shrimp platter? Yes, I did, but again, do you realize how much shrimp 7 ounces really is? And the time in front of the shrimp tray, was not time spent in front of the bowl of Ruffles.
Down 2 pounds this week. That is 7 pounds in 2 weeks. That is almost a complete erasure of my time off the wagon. The jeans I bought when given a 20 minute mad dash through Gordman's on my birthday are size 31's. YEEEE-HAW!!!! (yes, they do have 2% stretch in them, I don't really give a shit.) While I need to step my exercising efforts back up, as I'm feeling a little flabby, I am back on my weigh down. (Yes, pun intended there).
I have another adult beverage laden indulgence planned for the weekend. I am fully prepared for it. Shrimp, turkey meatballs, wings (I don't really care for hot wings, so not a problem there) veggie tray with WF dip (regular dip for the regulars) I'm thinking of making some grilled chicken and steak kebab thingys and I will probably have chips and salsa for the others, only because I adore my chip and dip set and use it every chance I can. Yes, this sounds like an enormous amount of food. It is. Coach K can attest to my Betty Crocker/Martha Stewart tendencies. I can get a bit carried away at times. I also have Select 55, vodka and lots of crystal lite on hand.
Tonight, I may cave and have a glass of wine. Yes, wine is mostly sugar and carbs and lots of bad stuff. But, I adore wine and I am going to a WINERY. And for someone who adores wine to not have a glass while IN a WINERY, seems like it could be felonious. I will do perfect, food wise, through and for me, that's good enough today.
I did NOT however, allow for my pina colada episode to completely derail my efforts. I was 100% on plan food wise. I did also switch from pina colada heaven to Select when we went to watch the Superbowl later that evening. Yes, I know, beer is not allowed on plan. Hello? Have you met me? Are you an approved Stalker Friend? If so you should know I do not follow rules well and I won't completely give up my beer. Is it hindering me getting to my goal sooner? Probably, but that is a decision I have made and one I have lived with and as long as I am not standing in my underwear in my kitchen following a night of boozing it up, eating a bag of Totino's pizza rolls while taking Hidden Valley ranch shooters, I'll be fine. (If that day comes, Coach K and Coach K Squared, have my full permission to beat me, commit me, whatever they need to do to pry the ranch dressing an pizza rolls out of my drunken cold hands.)
As I said in a previous post, I do not let a night of adult beverage enhanced indulgence give license to eat whatever the hell I want. Did I spend an inordinate amount of time in front of Carol's shrimp platter? Yes, I did, but again, do you realize how much shrimp 7 ounces really is? And the time in front of the shrimp tray, was not time spent in front of the bowl of Ruffles.
Down 2 pounds this week. That is 7 pounds in 2 weeks. That is almost a complete erasure of my time off the wagon. The jeans I bought when given a 20 minute mad dash through Gordman's on my birthday are size 31's. YEEEE-HAW!!!! (yes, they do have 2% stretch in them, I don't really give a shit.) While I need to step my exercising efforts back up, as I'm feeling a little flabby, I am back on my weigh down. (Yes, pun intended there).
I have another adult beverage laden indulgence planned for the weekend. I am fully prepared for it. Shrimp, turkey meatballs, wings (I don't really care for hot wings, so not a problem there) veggie tray with WF dip (regular dip for the regulars) I'm thinking of making some grilled chicken and steak kebab thingys and I will probably have chips and salsa for the others, only because I adore my chip and dip set and use it every chance I can. Yes, this sounds like an enormous amount of food. It is. Coach K can attest to my Betty Crocker/Martha Stewart tendencies. I can get a bit carried away at times. I also have Select 55, vodka and lots of crystal lite on hand.
Tonight, I may cave and have a glass of wine. Yes, wine is mostly sugar and carbs and lots of bad stuff. But, I adore wine and I am going to a WINERY. And for someone who adores wine to not have a glass while IN a WINERY, seems like it could be felonious. I will do perfect, food wise, through and for me, that's good enough today.
Friday, February 4, 2011
An AHA moment!
I have had an AHA moment...it doesn't happen often and to have one before I even starting my schooling with Coach K, is somewhat of a breakthrough for me. (Yes, I said I will begin schooling with Coach K. I am picturing her rapping me over the knuckles with a ruler when I answer, "I don't know.") My AHA moment is this: I have trouble with food because food never judges me. Food never cares what I wear, what I say or how I act. Food is never mad at me, it never demands too much of me. It never nags me. It never wants too much. Food truly is a comfort to me. The second part of the AHA comes in realizing the things food/overating DOES. Overeating DOES make me feel bad, it does make me sick (at times) and make me want to cry. It DOES make me less of a person. It DOES make me feel worse, after it's supposedly made me feel better. Learning to let the DOES outweigh the DOESN'T is what I am working on now.
Wednesday night after rocking my day, the kids and hubs in bed, I got struck with some way out there in left field anxiety, over what, who the hell knows. I just had this feeling of, "Everyone hates me, Everyone's mad at me, boy I really fucked something up, didn't I?" What did I do, I wandered to the kitchen. What happened next? Ice. I grabbed a book and a bowl of ice and started munching. It's like the whole hand to mouth chew on something is what I HAD to have to make that feeling go away. Crazy, I know. But it did go away, I went to bed, woke up the next morning and knew that everything was fine, no one (well, at least no one I care about) hated me or was mad at me and I didn't screw anything up.
Yesterday I had another perfectly on plan day. After the wrestling meet, I came home and exercised. Since I did elliptical Wednesday night, last night was toning. 30 minutes of toning with my resistance bands. Leg lifts, lunges and squats with my ankle weights on. Ab work, again with my ankle weights. WHOA, you say, how does one do ab work with ankle weights? Simple, when doing your crunches, bend your knees up at like a 90 degree angle form the floor, cross your ankles and then do your crunches, kind of like a double crunch. Trust me, the ankle weights work. I will share my second ankle weight/ab work out in a minute.
It feels good to be back on the wagon and back in a routine. It feels good to climb on the scale again instead of fearing it. The pain in my abs today, feels REALLY good. The fact that i can eat a chocolate brownie/cookie 5 times a day kicks ass.
KILLER AB WORK OUT:
This will kick crunches completely out of our work out program.
Lie flat on your back, hands at your sides. with your knees pressed together lift both legs off the ground about 6 inches and hold, as long as you can. Start with 30 seconds and try to work up to two minutes. For increased workouts, hold an exercise ball between your ankles while doing this, (obviously that will make your knees come apart, just pretend like Brad Pitt is in the room and throw those knees open girls) OR, put on the beloved ankle weights. Trust me, you will feel it after about 15 seconds and 1-2 minutes will truly kick your ass. I can only do one minute, now.
Wednesday night after rocking my day, the kids and hubs in bed, I got struck with some way out there in left field anxiety, over what, who the hell knows. I just had this feeling of, "Everyone hates me, Everyone's mad at me, boy I really fucked something up, didn't I?" What did I do, I wandered to the kitchen. What happened next? Ice. I grabbed a book and a bowl of ice and started munching. It's like the whole hand to mouth chew on something is what I HAD to have to make that feeling go away. Crazy, I know. But it did go away, I went to bed, woke up the next morning and knew that everything was fine, no one (well, at least no one I care about) hated me or was mad at me and I didn't screw anything up.
Yesterday I had another perfectly on plan day. After the wrestling meet, I came home and exercised. Since I did elliptical Wednesday night, last night was toning. 30 minutes of toning with my resistance bands. Leg lifts, lunges and squats with my ankle weights on. Ab work, again with my ankle weights. WHOA, you say, how does one do ab work with ankle weights? Simple, when doing your crunches, bend your knees up at like a 90 degree angle form the floor, cross your ankles and then do your crunches, kind of like a double crunch. Trust me, the ankle weights work. I will share my second ankle weight/ab work out in a minute.
It feels good to be back on the wagon and back in a routine. It feels good to climb on the scale again instead of fearing it. The pain in my abs today, feels REALLY good. The fact that i can eat a chocolate brownie/cookie 5 times a day kicks ass.
KILLER AB WORK OUT:
This will kick crunches completely out of our work out program.
Lie flat on your back, hands at your sides. with your knees pressed together lift both legs off the ground about 6 inches and hold, as long as you can. Start with 30 seconds and try to work up to two minutes. For increased workouts, hold an exercise ball between your ankles while doing this, (obviously that will make your knees come apart, just pretend like Brad Pitt is in the room and throw those knees open girls) OR, put on the beloved ankle weights. Trust me, you will feel it after about 15 seconds and 1-2 minutes will truly kick your ass. I can only do one minute, now.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Still wondering
What it is I will do at goal that I cannot do now. (forgive me if i get distracted and ramble, I am trying to have a diagnostic chat with Jack at HP because our fucking piece of shit printer that we just got in December is acting up again. Perhaps I should have stayed on the phone with Habib...this chat has been going on for 22 minutes and we've done nothing but establish what kind of printer I have and that its not fucking working right.)
So, things I will do at goal that i cannot do now.....hmmmm. I am thinking while I would like to say that at goal my thighs will not rub together, I cannot see that happening. I would need to lose like 125 pounds for that to happen and I don't see that happening.
At my goal weight I would like to say that I will no longer have a dunlap. (you know, you done lapped over the top of your jeans) But considering that I will still have excess skin and cannot afford plastic surgery, that dog ain't gunna hunt either. (Oh for fuck sake dude, isn't there just a reset button somewhere????)
At my goal weight I would like to be known as a runner...hey that one might happen. There. Got one. At my goal weight/size I will be a runner. I will picture me in running shorts and a sleek running top, running down the bike trail, running in our July 4th 5K. Eat your fucking heart out Forest Gump. I WIll be RUNNING!!!
I would like to say at my goal weight I will wear a medium. But I don't think that will happen either and its not that important to me. While I would like to say its nice to be a medium, but, if I don't make a medium it won't be the end of the world. (ARE YOU KIDDIN ME!!!! 32 MINUTES INTO THE CHAT AND YOU"RE HAVING ME CALL AN 800 NUMBER BECAUSE YOU DON"T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MACS!!!) Sorry....At my goal weight I will rule my HP printer....yeah right. I don't think that will happen at any weight.
I digress. At my goal weight I will take up swimming again. There.There's another one. Serious swimming, like multiple laps. Many many moons ago I was a lifeguard and had an 18 second sprint across the pool. I could tread water with a 10 pound diving brick over my head for five full minutes. I could swim laps for 25 minutes straight. I will do that again at my goal weight/size. There...there are two.
Seriously.....nine minutes into the phone call and nothing. I am still on hold for someone who knows how to deal with Macs...
Anywho...that's all he things i can think of for today. I will continue to think on them.
Yesterday was a rocking day, completely on plan, 32 minutes on the elliptical and I GORGED myself with my cauliflower crust pizza. It was soo good and it's huge. I finished it off with one of Krystals cookie recipe from yesterday...It was good, planning on making another one today!
So, things I will do at goal that i cannot do now.....hmmmm. I am thinking while I would like to say that at goal my thighs will not rub together, I cannot see that happening. I would need to lose like 125 pounds for that to happen and I don't see that happening.
At my goal weight I would like to say that I will no longer have a dunlap. (you know, you done lapped over the top of your jeans) But considering that I will still have excess skin and cannot afford plastic surgery, that dog ain't gunna hunt either. (Oh for fuck sake dude, isn't there just a reset button somewhere????)
At my goal weight I would like to be known as a runner...hey that one might happen. There. Got one. At my goal weight/size I will be a runner. I will picture me in running shorts and a sleek running top, running down the bike trail, running in our July 4th 5K. Eat your fucking heart out Forest Gump. I WIll be RUNNING!!!
I would like to say at my goal weight I will wear a medium. But I don't think that will happen either and its not that important to me. While I would like to say its nice to be a medium, but, if I don't make a medium it won't be the end of the world. (ARE YOU KIDDIN ME!!!! 32 MINUTES INTO THE CHAT AND YOU"RE HAVING ME CALL AN 800 NUMBER BECAUSE YOU DON"T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MACS!!!) Sorry....At my goal weight I will rule my HP printer....yeah right. I don't think that will happen at any weight.
I digress. At my goal weight I will take up swimming again. There.There's another one. Serious swimming, like multiple laps. Many many moons ago I was a lifeguard and had an 18 second sprint across the pool. I could tread water with a 10 pound diving brick over my head for five full minutes. I could swim laps for 25 minutes straight. I will do that again at my goal weight/size. There...there are two.
Seriously.....nine minutes into the phone call and nothing. I am still on hold for someone who knows how to deal with Macs...
Anywho...that's all he things i can think of for today. I will continue to think on them.
Yesterday was a rocking day, completely on plan, 32 minutes on the elliptical and I GORGED myself with my cauliflower crust pizza. It was soo good and it's huge. I finished it off with one of Krystals cookie recipe from yesterday...It was good, planning on making another one today!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Breaking up
is hard to do and that truly is what some of us are doing. We are breaking up with our old eating habits. We are breaking up with our favorite foods. We are ending our relationship with food and looking at food as fuel instead of entertainment. Ah hell, who am I kidding, we are ATTEMPTING to do this. We are TRYING to do this. but like I said, breaking up is hard work! I have had no problems kicking potatoes to the curb. Cookies, cake, candy, I threw them out long ago. I have trouble saying, "so long" to things like pasta, peanut butter and bread. And mostly because I cannot THROW these things out. My family still eats these things and enjoys these things and they are not forbidden items for them, as they are for me, nor do I want to make them forbidden items. (Yes, I can hear you saying, 'But wait, we can have peanut butter.' Yes, WE can, I on the other hand cannot because I cannot limit myself to the recommended serving. I cannot be trusted with a jar of peanut butter and a spoon. I have started buying the single serve little bowls. I have Drew hide them so I have no idea where they are and when I want one, or when Jaci wants a peanut butter sandwich, he retrieves them from the depths and divvies them out. It's the only way.) The bread does not usually bother me, but every so often, the kids will want a sandwich and I will stand there sniffing the bread for a good 10 minutes before I make the sandwich because it smells so good. I have taken to leaving the bread in the freezer, out of sight, out of mind and then all they can do is make toast. So far, it's been working. The pasta...I did try the miracle noodles. I made a nice chicken and vegetable lo mein and truly enjoyed it. It totally felt like cheating. I have not made pasta for the family in a few weeks, we shall see how that test goes when the time comes, as I have no more miracle noodles. Ending my relationship with these foods is tough work. It's every day work. Its choices made at each meal.
We had a great meeting on Saturday, it's nice to hear everyone's stories, successes and struggles and to share. Coach K Squared (That's Kristie) asked that we visualize our selves at our goal. So, I am trying to do that this week. She asked what things I would be doing at goal that I can't do now and that's hard to determine. I can and do shop at the Buckle and anywhere else, not just the fat girl section. I can and do exercise, jogging for 20 minutes straight. I can and do wear size large, not extra large or 2X, so my goal this week is to try to determine what I will do at a size 10 that I cannot do now. HTen once I have figured out what that will be, I will visualize myself there. Right now, I am taking things 10 pounds at a time. Just 10 pounds. I had a good weigh in this week, down 5 pounds, so that means five more. Just five more...just one more week on plan. I'll make this plan my bitch again, if it kills me.
We had a great meeting on Saturday, it's nice to hear everyone's stories, successes and struggles and to share. Coach K Squared (That's Kristie) asked that we visualize our selves at our goal. So, I am trying to do that this week. She asked what things I would be doing at goal that I can't do now and that's hard to determine. I can and do shop at the Buckle and anywhere else, not just the fat girl section. I can and do exercise, jogging for 20 minutes straight. I can and do wear size large, not extra large or 2X, so my goal this week is to try to determine what I will do at a size 10 that I cannot do now. HTen once I have figured out what that will be, I will visualize myself there. Right now, I am taking things 10 pounds at a time. Just 10 pounds. I had a good weigh in this week, down 5 pounds, so that means five more. Just five more...just one more week on plan. I'll make this plan my bitch again, if it kills me.
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