More grrr

For some reason, i feel the need to hop up on my little soap box today and just rant. (Speaking of soap, seeing as how I always forget my grocery list, would someone PLEASE remind me to buy anti-bacterial bar soap today? Thanks in advance)
Okay random gripe number one: Yes, the BLOG posting on your daughter was fascinating and I am sure people WOULD enjoy reading it. BUT, for the 82nd time; I CAN'T PRINT SOMEONE ELSE"S SHIT! ESPECIALLY a blog. You want people to read it? Have them look up the blog and share it that way, OR, what I can do is print a letter to the editor from you referencing the aforementioned blog with a link to it.
2. Why does EVERY news story on line which features a "leave a comment" section have to turn into a right versus left political discussion? I was reading a lovely piece on how the Mennonites are STILL in Louisiana helping to rebuild homes after Hurricane Katrina. ( I happened to see it on the news last night, too.) The comment thread (which are thoroughly entertaining as a whole) started out with everyone commending the group on their service and then morphed into a "we spend too much money on the military democrat versus republican bashing." You know what? I am a registered republican...do I blindly agree with the ENTIRE party, FUCK NO! Do I despise the Democratic party and their beliefs? NO! I tend to agree with both parties on different issues, it just so happens that when I checked the card when I was 18, I checked the elephant sign and have never changed it, so it irritates me to no end when generalizations about democrats and republicans and right and left get thrown about. I believe I should be able to own a gun if I want one. Does that mean I want my psychotic-trigger happy-wife beating neighbor to own own? NO!!! I believe unions have served a purpose, but i shouldn't have to have my tax dollars continue to increase so government workers can continue to get free family healthcare because the union says so. I also believe that allowing a crappy teacher to continue to teach because he or she has seniority is bull. I'm just not sure how you gauge teacher performance, because just taking standardized test scores into consideration is not the answer. (My son is the perfect example, he is an A/B student, except in math where he hangs out around a B- C+ because he does take after his mother a little) but according to ITBS scores he's damnded near an idiot savant. I just know that when it comes to unions, teachers, police, county workers, what have you, no one should be allowed to keep their job for doing sub-par work and you know the saying, "It's easier to nail Jell-o to a tree than it is to get rid of a unionized employee." I believe a woman should have the right to get an abortion, BUT I vehemently oppose those who use abortions as birth control, I'm just not sure there is a way to differentiate or "enforce" that, so it's best to just let abortions be legal. I believe spending is out of control and that as a government (on all levels, local, state and national, we have to separate our needs from our wants. Wow, that is as politically charged as I ever want to get. It's exhausting.
3. Side note on the Mennonites, (no rant involved here) this past week I was sucked into a fascinating story that involved the possibility of finding perhaps relics from the Flood of 1958 in Exira. (You can read about that adventure on Friday) Just yesterday, as I was finishing my research on the Flood, I ran across a quote from one of the "Lucky 13." (for those not familiar, there were 13 individuals who hung out in flood water waist deep on top of a flat bed trailer, taking turns holding children on their shoulders until flood waters receded they all survived the ordeal, hence the name Lucky 13) He talked about remembering the Mennonites coming to help with clean-up and rebuilding. Ironic that I ran across this yesterday and then there was a story about the service of the Mennonites on the news last night.
4. I truly need to forget the address of the website with the sparkly belts. I think I just went through my entire paycheck ordering bling.
5. I know I said this on FB the other day, but I truly believe you are either a part of the problem or you are a part of the solution. There are things/situations/people in life that will never change. You can either adapt your way of thinking and your way of acting in order to make the best of it, or you can continue to be a boil on the problem's ass and make things worse. While there are times I truly enjoy being that boil, it's another one of those things that is exhausting. In the end it's never worth it.
6. Why is it there are some people out there who always look so perfect and so well put together, yet when I try to do the same I look like a frumpy, disorganized mix between Tammy Faye Baker and an over accessorized circus clown?
Whew...I think I finally may have run out of things to say......good thing huh?

Grr

I am plain ass growly today. In fact I am "biting-ass old sow" cranky, today. (Perhaps its because Dh makes comments like "biting-ass old sow". Just a guess there.)
Due to my own drastic case of "head-up-ass-itis" I am pretty much in day three start over detox, which has added to my crankiness.
I hate poker night with a passion. Just once, I would like the kids to ride the bus to DH's office then he would have to make sure they got home, got homework done, studied for driver's test, read the book it books, folded and put away the laundry, made sure the garbage got taken out and the floor got swept, did the dishes, made the bed because the sheets were stripped and put in the wash before going to work, make supper, make sure everyone bathes or showers, all before 9 p.m., while I just fucked around doing as I please, then just as he's started to fall asleep, I'll begin texting, like every 10 minutes. That would be perfect. But alas will never happen....grrr.
Nearly every piece of technology I own is malfunctioning or acting like its circa 1988 and its really pissing me off.
I have about 18 days til confirmation and I have done next to nothing to prepare for it. Not that there is a whole lot to do, but new clothes are needed for at least Drew and I and dinner needs planned for roughly 30 people. Which reminds me, I should probably invite the roughly 30 people that I am supposed to have for dinner.
It's only 10 a.m. and yet it feels like I have been at the office for oh, I'd say 72 hours...It's going to be a LONG day.

A conversation with myself

Setting: At the grocery store, current day.
Self: Stay on the perimeter, stick to the list...
Self 2: Douchebag, you forgot the list, you always forget the list. you act like you are so organized and create a list and you always forget it...damn the list.
Self: Damn the list..okay, fill the cart with green shit, walden farms stuff and lean protein.
Self 2: Hey corn dogs are on sale, Jaci has been begging for corn dogs...
Self: fine, grab the corn dogs...focus on the produce on the other side of the aisle.
Self 2: Didn't you throw away an entire box of these $6 greens last week? Un-opened and un-touched?
Self: Shut up, this is a new week, the $6 greens will be opened and consumed...hey look at that, new WF dressings...
Self 2: Yeah, to dip the pizza rolls in, right?
Self: Shut it...lets move on....hey, biscuits are on sale and I have a coupon for those.
Self 2: You're not supposed to eat biscuits fat ass, remember???
Self: I can make the kids biscuits and gravy and I will have my own breakfast, we've been eating separate meals for months, its no big deal.
Self 2: Hey! Food pride (fine, Audubon Foods, truth be told, I still call it Super, it will always be Super) has roasted garlic hummus and pita chips. We love hummus.
Self: Avoid the hummus.
Self 2: Hummus is not that bad...its' SUPER Bad, in the good kind of way...BUY THE HUMMUS!
Self: Fine, I will buy the hummus, only because I bought 5 yellow and orange peppers and desperately need to use them up. Hummus, you're coming with us.
Self 2: fuck that, the pita chips are right over there...
Self: No!
Self 2: You are so weak..the pita chips are already in the cart hiding under your frozen vegetables. And by the way, since we bought the hummus and pita chips, don't madly dash past the booze aisle. It's one of those cheap bottle of wine nights...
Self! Absolutely not!!
Self 2: God you're pathetic, but kudos on just buying one bottle when they had a 2-fer sale!


Every morning I start out on plan, rearing to go..then my self 2 kicks in and well, you can see how that conversation goes. Couch 2 5K repeat of week 2 has gone well. Still no zumba crashing, but it WILL happen. I keep trudging along, not happy with myself, but not disgusted enough to kick self 2 to the curb....I will get there. I will shut Self 2 down. I will, not to start quoting lines from Pink, but, "change the voices in my head."

Seriously?

God, you're probably all having abandonment issues...so sorry my loves! My crazy, intense, fucked up life continues to roll along. To catch you up, I'll give you the Cliff Notes version....
major work drama, ended up in a change of status for a co-worker of mine. (To translate the doucherocket got canned and now I'm going to have to find something else to bitch about.)
District wrestling, Drew got into the tough side of the bracket, where three of the top four came out of. The kid who finished second was one Drew pinned in less than a minute 3 weeks ago. BUT he ended up fourth, so we're going to state. Hot tub, shopping, adult beverages, mama likey.
Jill fall down go boom. Coach K is taking up a collection to get me a motorized cart and a helmet. The scarring has gotten much better, bruising and swelling has going down, I'm not scaring small children anymore. (Yes, it is a face/head wound.)
Couch to 5K week 2 will be repeated due to head/face wound and some dizziness immediately following it.
Zumba Coven will be crashed next week. I hear they even turn the lights down so no one gets to witness my truly awful lack of rhythm.
I cannot spell rhythm. I always fuck it up. I always put an extra Y in it.
Food wise, I have been so-so. My mo-jo is waning again, anything green is making me green. I'm surviving on cauliflower, red and yellow peppers and broccoli. I am having trouble with green and leafy right now. Not sure why. My brain knows exactly what to do and what to eat, my eyes and tastebuds are fucking with me. There is comfort tho, in the fact that I know there are a lot of people struggling right now and there are a lot of us who do struggle. The important thing is to remember, if you're struggling, you're not alone. There are a bunch of us out there, so be sure to keep your support lines open and to keep doing the best you can. None of us are perfect and in the words of Coach K, "If this were easy, we'd all be size 2's"

Well now

here we are again, almost one full week between posts! What the hell have i been thinking? Its been a long, strange trip this week and suffice it to say I have not been able to blog or really do much of anything i should be doing, due to extenuating circumstances. The plus side, I have had absolutely NO appetite for the last 36+ hours. Downside. I have had NO appetite for the last 36+ hours, so I know I am not getting the "fuel" I need for my body. I don't think vodka shooters count as appropriate fuel loads. I am seriously feeling a little like the kids on 'Talledega Nights." You know, "I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey, I'm all hopped up on Mt. Dew" only, no Mt. Dew...just the hopped up spider monkey feeling. Such is life. I have gotten in a few good work outs this week. Week two of Couch 2 5K is nearly complete.
District wrestling for Drew is this weekend, this will help my nerve load tremendously. He has to make the top four to qualify for state. I told him that since we had to be there at the ass crack of dawn on Saturday and spend the ENTIRE day on bleacher seats, that we should just go ahead and win the damned thing. Wish us luck. (I desperately want him to qualify, and not just for the sake of qualifying, but two nights in a hotel, even if its just Des Moines, means I get to do a little shopping and sit in a hot tub. Mama likey.)
I stumbled upon a local Zumba coven...I have full intentions of crashing their ritual....I may need more vodka shooters, as I was absent the day God taught hip rolling and coordination of any kind.
Please know that I never intentionally ignore you my dear stalker friends, but if I am MIA for a few days, it means I am either occupado, or the Zumba coven offered me up to the Latin dance Gods for sacrifice due to my truly awful rhythm.

Highs and lows

High for today, chocolate chip pancakes. Seriously chocolate chip pancakes + jill = happiness. The other high for the day, another great workout. I think this whole, go to the wellness center in the middle of the day, scheduled into my day is good for me. I only did 25 minutes on the elliptical today, but I did a hill program. That's four days in a row of workouts with day five coming tomorrow. yes tomorrow I will be going to the wellness center for day three a/k/a completion of week one of Couch 2 5K. Awesome.
Low for today..there are few things worse than walking into a one stall public restroom and being able to smell that the person that was in there just prior to you laid a dookie. It's happened not once, not twice, but three out of the four times I've worked out at the wellness center this week. There is either someone else working out at that same time, or a staff member who evidently has a 1:00 appointment with their bowels. EWWWW...

Ride 'em Cowgirl

Day two of C25K is in the books. Strangely, I feel like I have been riding a horse all day. Perhaps its the two days of treadmill training and the 45 minutes on the elliptical yesterday that's making me have this bowlegged, stooped, ass hurts kind of appearance today? No pain, no gain. And really, I know 45 minutes is technically too much exercise for our little plan, but damn it all to hell the two other people on the ellipticals on either side of me were trucking right along and I didn't want to appear to be the pudgy little pusscake in the middle, so onward and upward I went. Again, it felt good.
Note to all of you on plan, there is a reason our shaker cups warn against preparing hot food in them. Settle in, it's story time... "A" calls me this morning telling me she had the "epic Medifast failure of all time". (For those of you not on TSFL we use PCMR's utilizing food by Medifast. We have these little shaker jars with blue lids to prepare SOME of our foods. The PCMR's also require that we survive by using massive amounts of little plastic bowls for our meals.) "A" continues, "I was completely out of little clean bowls, so I mixed my oatmeal up in a regular bowl and made it thin so I could drink it on my way to town. I figured after it cooked I could pour it into my shaker jar and away I could go. Of course I was running behind and had to leave the house by 8, as Clay had a Dr's appointment in Carroll at 9. I was dressed and ready to go, i had Clay's coat in one hand and my shaker jar in the other, I figured I would give it one last shake....it exploded all over my clothes, hair, Clay's coat, ceiling and counter tops. Of course, I had no time to clean it up, or change, so I took my sick child to the doctor without a coat, had what looked like cum in my hair and I now have to explode more oatmeal onto my ceiling so I can just paint over it and use it as texturing since there is no WAY that shit will come off after sitting for eight hours." I tell ya, I nearly drove in the ditch I was laughing so hard. She then said, "I know it says right on the jar, DO NOT PREPARE HOT FOODS, but I thought there was an Ashley clause, you know, everyone else, don't do it, but Ashley, you'll be fine." Gotta love that gal.
Me thinks it will be a miracle if I make it through C25K without shin splints, my shins are not liking me much right now...(go ahead, tell me to suck it up:))

I have a to do list today

1) After 12:15 interview head to wellness center for weight training and bike time.
2) Head to grocery store for mass amounts of vegetables.
3) Get Jaci from school. Head home. Cut up mass amounts of vegetables.
4) Head to Exira for 3:30 interview.
5) Shower before step number four.....
6) Eat massive amounts of vegetables...

I stated yesterday that the work out wasn't bad, it truly wasn't, but my thighs are a little sore today, as are my abs, as I focused on my breathing and holding my core muscles tight as I ran...huh, who'd have thunk that there were actually muscles under there? Stunning...simply stunning.
As I watch all of the Charlie Sheen madness unfold I can't help but wonder if that is how I sound to you stalker friends as I ramble on? Guess I need to back off on the whores and coke, huh? Later dudes, gotta get to work on that to do list!

Day one

Couch to 5K is in the books! I did not puke, pass out, pop a lung or piss myself! Truth be told it was actually pretty easy. It was a brisk 5 minute walk to warm up, followed by alternating 60 seconds of running with 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes. I did really well, other than thanks to the kidlets, I do have to pee about 1/2 way through, which is always awkward, and while I remembered to bring my work out clothes, I neglected to pack the sports bra, so I have two black eyes. My warm up was at 3.5 mph, I ran at 5.5 mph and walked at 4 mph. I went 1.75 total miles in 25 minutes. (I threw in a 5 min cool down at 3.5 mph) tomorrow I have a day off from the plan, I will do some toning or strength training, or perhaps elliptical and then Thursday I repeat today's plan.
I only lost a pound this week, but, such is life. If this were easy we'd all be size 2's.
My daughter the drama queen had a headache again last night, when it came to finishing her vegetables, so to bed she went at 7 p.m. The void and my son had similar reactions. Although Drew finished most of his and Dan picked through them leaving the zucchini behind. I thought I had prepared a damn fine meal, Mediterranean vegetable mix from Schwanns, chicken cordon bleu (homemade) and rice for the kids. (I know better than to even attempt to put rice on the void's plate). I guess I should resort to just fixing casseroles with all the raised eyebrows and questions that came when dinner was served. I had a big old plate of chicken and peppers over lettuce with some salsa. Audubon Foods (aka Food Pride, or for some of us, it will always be Super) has red, orange and yellow peppers 10 for $10 and they are gorgeous, I stocked up. There are approximately 120 days until my first 5K. (That is unless I get ambitious and sign up for one in May...let's not get too crazy here, 120 days til Relay for Life, I'm one day in on the program...lets just try to finish :)